Art Museums and Chicken Salads

There are things that you just don’t want to know about your teachers. You especially don’t want to see them.

French was my foreign language of choice (I also couldn’t take Spanish because I have no ability to roll my R’s, and that was a requirement at my school to take Spanish). However, due to a number of wacky circumstances, I had 8 different French teachers in 5.5 years of taking French, all of whom liked to start over at the very beginning. That essentially means that I still excel at conjugating verbs, but that’s about the extent of my skill set. (I can read some things in romance languages, though).

Okay, back from my tangent.

In high school, our teacher decided that we should take a trip to the DIA, since they were having an exhibit of French painters. We obviously all decided to go, since this was a full-day field trip and what high schooler doesn’t want to skip out on the rest of their classes?

That morning, we all hopped on the bus for our hour long trip to Detroit. To our surprise, our French teacher decided to bring her husband along on our trip.

Now, I should take a quick moment to state that my French teacher was a very socially awkward women in her mid-60s, and that her husband was a very round and also very socially awkward man in his mid-60s.

We got to the museum without any issues and spent the next few hours wandering around looking at art. However, it was soon time to move on to the next attraction, and our French teacher and her husband were nowhere to be found.

That is, until someone went and used the restroom. And reported hearing weird noises and two pairs of shoes in a stall.

We thus were all waiting outside the men’s room when my teacher’s husband, and then my teacher, emerged.

French class was very awkward for the rest of the year.

Socially Appropriate Chicken Salad

always appropriate for any occasion

Ingredients

  • 2 c chicken, shredded
  • 1 rib celery, diced
  • 1/4 c walnuts, chopped
  • 1/4 c dried cranberries
  • 1/4 c fat free greek yogurt
  • 1/4 c light mayonnaise
  • 1/4 c fat free sour cream
  • 1 tbsp tarragon
  • Salt
  • Pepper

How-to

  1. Mix together greek yogurt, mayonnaise, sour cream, and tarragon.
  2. Add in chicken, celery, walnuts, and dried cranberries. If mixture is too thick, thin out with some skim milk.
  3. Salt and pepper to taste.
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37 thoughts on “Art Museums and Chicken Salads

  1. Your chicken salad looks great! I sometimes add grapes to mine, it gives it a nice juicy twist with all the dairy-based mix ins.

  2. Oh man, that story is traumatic and amazing all at the same time! Also that’s a ridiculous rule about not being allowed to take Spanish if you can’t roll your r’s. I know a native Spanish speaker who can’t roll her r’s–from what I understand it’s just something you can’t help and can learn to fake/compensate for pretty easily. Sheesh.

  3. Omg. I teach French. And never, ever, ever would even begin to cross my mind to do this. Once, a boyfriend came along with me on a school trip. I told him that he wasn’t allowed to touch me and hand to stand an arm length away.

    I think the French thing is just coincidental. It’s still gross and awkward though!

    But chicken salad is very socially acceptable :-)

  4. Hi,
    thanks for the follow. Chicken salad sounds delicious… the stories are definitely fun read. I’ve already read a few. Will be back for more..

  5. I think French teachers are habitually reeeeaaaallly strange. I had one, a little round southern belle in her mid 60′s that taught French with her really thick southern accent. “Parlay vew Fron-say?” I had another with a brain tumor that wore a t-shirt all the time that said “Ask me about my labotomy.” He also like to show lots of French movies in class that tended to borderline on international soft-porn. My sister is a French major at UNCA; she’s about to graduate… I wonder what stories she has to tell?

    Gorgeous chicken salad! Celery, walnuts, and cranberries are a MUST. Tarragon, too :)

    • This one had the worst pronunciation ever…and she also showed movies that bordered on soft-core porn ;) And yes- tarragon makes the chicken salad. I prefer the dried fruit to fresh grapes- I feel like fresh grapes make the chicken salad too watery if you don’t eat it the first day, while dried fruit soaks up any extra liquid.

  6. When I was moving out of my first place in Boston, my family and several friends were helping me with boxes, etc. We heard the shower and assumed my roommate was in there. When she left the bathroom she saw all of us and said, “oh. Awkward.” And then a boy followed her out. Awkward indeed!

  7. Uh, great fun. I reminds me of my time i high school. I went to a rather…hmm…lets call it free spirited school – teachers…hippies the lot of them….on that thought – switching and everybody know not to sit on the couch in the drama room…uff…

    Love the chicken salad – I usually add roasted mushroom – of whatever kind i have in the fridge or can collect when in season…both to mix in and to sprinkle on top. tastes great.

  8. Very funny and very horny! :) They displayed their social awkwardness very well, don’t you think?
    I just met a guy today from Detroit who now lives in very NETexas and drives a mobile hot dog stand. He calls himself Lucky and serves up a dandy hot dog. Thanks for the great looking recipe! LOL

  9. Hysterical story! I’m the opposite, though. I dumped French for Spanish because I can’t make my mouth form some of those words! We have some similarities. I’m originally from Taylor, MI (howdy neighbor) and was married to an anesthesiologist for 10 years (not personally insane enough to go to medical school myself), and I love the DIA (but will, from now on, be more mindful in the restrooms). And, we both like to cook. Nice to meet you! I look forward to reading more of your adventures.

  10. I’m looking forward to trying this Chicken Salad recipe! I’ve been in the habit lately of tossing chicken into my Crockpot just to always have some made ahead for soups, etc. This looks like a really great way to use some of that chicken. :)

    Regarding le Museum, usually it’s les etudiants who need a chaperon, lol! ;)

    Thanks for the follow (on thoughtboarding.wordpress.com). I suspect I’ll love your recipes as well as the charming stories. :) Peace.

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