As a doctor, I’m supposed to get all of the details about why you’re seeing me. However, sometimes I really don’t need to get the entire story.
While on a stint in the ED, I had a patient coming in for an asthma attack while I was working the overnight shift. It involved a bit of drama at first, with the patient quite a bit anxious and hyperventilating. It also didn’t help that the woman with him was prancing around braless in pajamas.
When he finally was breathing like a normal person, I started asking questions. Now, it’s normally a sign of poorly controlled asthma if it wakes you up from sleep. That was not the case.
Me: So, sir, did this asthma attack wake you up?
Me: So you were awake at 3:30am?
Me: And why were you….?
The patient and the woman looked at each other. And then I got it.
Me: Oh. Okay. You don’t need to say anything more.
Patient: Well my fiance here had started in this position and..
Me: Sir, I said I got it. I don’t need any more details. Do you often have asthma attacks during this activity?
Patient: Nope, but this time was different because…
Me: Sir, as I just said, I don’t need the details. The basic story is fine.
Unfortunately, there isn’t a medical code for “sex-induced asthma,” so I had to send him off with the simple diagnosis of “asthma attack.” And you at least have to give the fiance props for spicing things up to a point that her man couldn’t breathe…
Morning After Breakfast Sandwich
Ingredients (per person)
- 1 large egg
- 1 whole-wheat english muffin, split
- butter-flavored cooking spray
- 3 thin slices good salami
- 1 slice smoked gouda (or whatever other type of good melting cheese you have on hand…even american!)
- 1 slice tomato
- Toast an english muffin in a toaster or toaster oven
- Spray a small non-stick pain with butter spray (I know I normally tell you never to do this because it ruins your pans, but I have a specific small egg pan that I use just for this- they’re pretty cheap at your large big box store- and so I don’t feel bad about replacing it more often) and play over medium heat
- Crack an egg into the pan and break the egg yolk immediately (I’ll use a spatula or even the egg shell). Sprinkle on salt and pepper.
- After 1-2 minutes, flip the egg and cook for an additional 1-2 minutes (or whatever your desired egg consistency is). Top with the slice of cheese so it melts.
- Place the salami slices on the bottom of the toasted english muffin. Top with the egg covered with cheese, tomato slice, and the top of the english muffin.
- Enjoy! These also are easy to eat while driving on the way to work, or put into a container to eat once you arrive!