Flowers, Part 1, and Lobster

My father can get you to agree to anything.

It was my first Valentine’s Day in high school where I had a boyfriend. Now, Valentine’s Day was a bit different for my family- it’s both my dad’s and my brother’s birthday, so it’s normally the night we go out to eat for that. Plus my mother always gave us a treasure hunt (complete with our own treasure map) for us to find our chocolates that evening.

Thus, for my first Valentine’s Day with a boyfriend, I spent it with my family. But my high school boyfriend did call me that evening.

High School Boyfriend: Hey, did you get anything dropped off today?

High School Me: Nope, why?

High School Boyfriend: Oh, I tried to send you flowers. I only got your carnations since they were the cheapest thing they had. 

My dad was overhearing this phone conversation, and asked for the phone.

The next day, there was a knock at the door. And a delivery guy, who was carrying a dozen roses and a box of chocolates.

High School Me: This certainly isn’t carnations.

Dad: I know. I called the flower shop and had them upgrade you for free. I told them how disappointed you were, and how your boyfriend was too chicken to call, so therefore I had to swoop in and make things right. Besides, it’s not like anyone is going to buy roses today. The flower shop is really getting a deal on this. 

My high school boyfriend didn’t even attempt to take any credit, based on proper fear of the girlfriend’s father.

Only the Best Lobster Tails

lobster tailsbecause daddy’s little girl deserves everything, especially lobster

Ingredients (per person)

  • Lobster tail (look for around 5-6 ounces), thawed (most grocery stores seem to put these on special for $5 each here in the midwest, I’ve seen- and they freeze quite well!)
  • 2 tbsp butter
  • 1/8 tsp Old Bay seasoning
  • 1/2 c white wine
  • Water

How-to

  1. Cut down the back of the lobster tail approximately 3-4 inches using a good pair of scissors (this will help the tails not curl up as much and make them easier to eat).
  2. Place white wine into whatever pot works with a steamer you happen to own (mine fits on top of a medium sized pot, but feel free to use a steamer basket if that’s all you have).
  3. Add enough water to the pot so that it’s at approximately one inch (or whatever level you need so that, once you insert the steamer, that the lobster tails won’t be sitting in the liquid).
  4. Place in or on the steamer and bring the liquid to a boil.
  5. Place in lobster tails and replace lid. Steam for 8-10 minutes, being sure not to remove the lid during the first 8 minutes.
  6. In a microwaveable safe ramekin, place the butter and Old Bay. Microwave in 10-second increments until the butter is melted.
  7. When the lobsters are done, remove from the steamer.
  8. Serve tails along with the melted, seasoned butter.

Old Men and Cornish Hens

Few people are as old-fashioned as old men.

I was flying across the country to give a talk. Unfortunately, it wasn’t really anywhere that I could fly direct to, and thus I was stuck with a connecting flight on the way there and on the way back (and I was flying in and out on the same day).

Now, I’m normally a person who loves flying. I can fall asleep sitting in the middle seat between two rather large people occupying my armrests. I joke that the engines can rock me to sleep. I can nap through turbulence, babies crying, and bratty children kicking my seat for hours.

That day was just not my day.

I went to get my seat for my first flight, where I discovered that I was next to an older gentleman.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love little old men. They remind me of my grandfather and my great-uncle and I just can’t help but want to have them tell me stories and hope they’ll treat me like their granddaughter for the foreseeable future (I was a daddy’s and a grampa’s girl, after all). I can listen to old war stories for hours, cry with them as they remember meeting their wives, and rejoice in hearing of first becoming a grandparent.

Yes, I do realize that it’s like I’m an old person already. But that’s besides the point for this encounter.

Older Guy (noticing my work bag): So you’re in medicine?

Me: Yup, I’ll be a doctor next Spring. I’m in med school now.

Older Guy: You do realize that you won’t be a success in life until you have a ring on your finger.

I politely declined further conversation for the rest of my flight. And on to flight #2…with another older guy next to me.

Older Gentleman #2: You’re a doctor? And you’re not married? Is there something wrong with you or something?

Again, I made the wise decision to decline further conversation. Then I gave my talk, boarded ANOTHER plane, and again found myself sitting next to an older gent…

Old Guy #3: In my day, women didn’t work, they got married. You’re going to be a horrible mother if some guy ever wants to married you.

This really was old after the first flight. But the hits just kept coming with my fourth and final flight of the day.

And another, final, old man was awaiting me.

Old Gent #4: You do realize that no matter how successful you might be, you’re always going to be a failure until you’re married, right?

Obviously, I need to sit next to grandmothers on planes instead.

Put a Ring on It Stuffed Cornish Hens

Stuffed Cornish Henin case I need to offer more than the doctor card

Ingredients (per person)

  • 1 cornish game hen, thawed
  • 1 c of your favorite stuffing (my recipe to follow in the next post!)
  • Olive oil spray (mine is just in a spray bottle since it’s better for you than the store-bought version!)
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Garlic powder
  • Paprika

Tools

  • Aluminum foil
  • Roasting rack (not totally necessary, but essential if you want to have crispy skin all the way around!)

How-to

  1. Make your stuffing (as I said, my recipe to follow in my next post)
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  3. Wash and dry cornish hens. If you don’t dry them (use a paper towel!!!), you won’t get the crispy skin (which we all know is the best part).
  4. Sprinkle on salt, pepper, garlic powder, and paprika onto skin of cornish hens.
  5. Stuff bird with the stuffing (if you don’t use it to stuff something, it’s called dressing…you didn’t dare call it otherwise in my house growing up).
  6. Place bird(s) on a roasting rack (also essential to having crispy skin all over the bird).  Be sure to tuck in the wings so they don’t stick out and burn. Cover with aluminum foil and roast for 40 minutes.
  7. Remove foil and spray bird(s) with olive oil.
  8. Return to oven (without foil) and roast for an additional 30-40 minutes, when juices should run clear when you poke the birds with a knife (use a meat thermometer to be sure as this is poultry! Remember, you will see at least 5-10 degrees of carryover cooking after you remove from the oven).
  9. Let rest for 5-10 minutes before serving.

“Breakups” and Wild Mushroom Lasagna

There is such a thing as a stupid request.

I was casually dating a guy. He was the sort of guy that was nice enough, but not really my type overall as I was quickly realizing. You know the guys that it would be better to have just been friends as opposed to date? He fell into that category…hence the “casually dating”. I was planning on ending it myself, but I knew he was really stressed with work (so I was barely seeing him anyway) so I figured I’d wait at least a little bit to not add to the stress.

One day, he came over to my house for dinner. I had just made an amazing lasagna with wild mushrooms from my local farmer’s market. I couldn’t wait to eat it.

I didn’t realize there was going to be a slight delay.

He walked in, sat down on my couch, and said “I think we need to take a break.”

Now, I’m not a believer in breaks, plus I really wasn’t sure what that meant when two people are casually dating.

“Well, I think we need to break up.”

Now, I was quite confused. How do you break up with someone who you weren’t even officially dating in the first place? I personally had planned on using the line of “I don’t think we should see each other any more,” but that’s just me.

And then, the piece de resistance…

“Is there any way I can take home a piece of lasagna?”

As you can probably guess, I ordered him to get out of my house. Without food.

P.S. My coworkers came over the next day for dinner, since, after all, I had a huge delicious lasagna to eat.

No Doggie Bags Wild Mushroom Lasagna

if he was smart, he would have waited until after dinner

Ingredients

  • 2 lb wild mushrooms (if you can’t find wild mushrooms, use cremini or portobello)
  • 3 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 tsp worchestershire sauce
  • 8 oz fat-free cottage cheese
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 stick butter
  • 1/2 c flour
  • 4 c skim milk
  • 3 tablespoons garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp nutmeg
  • 1/2 + 1/4 c parmesan cheese
  • 1 lb whole-wheat lasagna noodles
  • Olive oil
  • Cooking spray
  • Salt
  • Pepper

How-to

  1. In a large saute pan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Remove stems from mushrooms and slice thinly. Add to olive oil, along with worchestershire sauce. Cook for approximately 5 minutes or until mushrooms become soft and start to release liquid. Put mushrooms in a bowl to let cool.
  2. When mushrooms are cool, add fat-free cottage cheese. Salt and pepper to taste. Add egg and mix thoroughly.
  3. In a large pot, melt butter over low heat. Add flour and cook, stirring constantly for 1 minute.
  4. Switch to a whisk. Whisk in milk slowly so it is incorporated. Add garlic. Increase heat to medium-low and cook for 5-10 minutes (the whisk is best at first and then you can switch back to a spoon) until the mixture becomes thick and coats the back of the spoon (you know the trick where you run your finger down the middle of the spoon and the sauce stays on either side? that’s what you’re looking for).
  5. To sauce, add nutmeg and 1/2 c parmesan cheese. Salt and pepper to taste.
  6. In another large pot, bring a large quantity of heavily salted (I’m talking a near handful here!) water to a boil. Cook lasagna noodles to 1 minute less than package directions (you want it just shy of al dente). Drain and add a little bit of olive oil so they don’t stick.
  7. Finally, lasagna prep time! Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
  8. Coat a lasagna pan (or 9×13 in baking dish) with cooking spray. Add a small amount of the cream sauce and spread a thin layer on the bottom of the pan. Place a layer of lasagna noodles. Add in 1/2 of the mushroom mixture, then 1/3 of the cream sauce.
  9. Repeat with another layer of the lasagna noodles, the rest of the mushroom mixture, and another 1/3 of the sauce.
  10. Top with a final layer of lasagna noodles and the rest of the cream sauce. Sprinkle on 1/4 c parmesan cheese.
  11. Bake for 45-50 minutes or until top is brown and bubbly. Remove from oven and let cool for 15 minutes before serving.

I know the recipe looks rather complicated, but it comes together fairly quickly! Saute the mushrooms first, then make the sauce and boil the noodles at the same time. My coworker, good friend, and fellow blogger Colleen can promise it’s delicious!

9FMKHTNGUPW2

Psycho and Pumpkin Pasta

Little brothers can get the best of you.

Growing up, my dad and I would have our Sunday night tradition- watching Alfred Hitchcock movies on the classic movie channel on Sunday nights. There was nothing like a big bowl of popcorn, ginger ale, and a good thriller (especially knowing that Dad was there to protect me in case I got too scared!).

I should probably take a quick moment to state that I get *way* to into movies/books/tv shows…to the point where I will cry during sad or emotional scenes (let’s not talk about that google chrome commercial from a few years back), yell out encouragement to movie characters (yes, in the theater), or practically look like I’m having a seizure from wringing my hands during stressful moments. And yes, this is quite enjoyable for other people to witness.

On this particular Sunday night, my dad and I had watched Psycho. As always, I had gotten a bit scared, but with Dad there I was able to tough it out. Afterwards, I hopped into the shower to start getting ready for school on Monday.

Now, for those of you that haven’t seen the movie, there is a memorable scene where a woman is stabbed through a shower curtain.

You can probably already see where this story is going.

My mother, bless her heart, told my middle brother of a wonderful trick he could do…all he had to do was grab his huge plastic pirate sword.

So, here I was, showering, thinking about going back to school the next day, still a bit on edge from the movie, when the next thing you know I felt myself being jabbed through the shower curtain with a knife-like object.

Let’s just say that my vocal cords gave a performance worthy of Psycho itself. It’s a wonder my brother still has his hearing.

P.S. Years later in medical school, the cat I had hit me with her paw through the shower curtain when I wasn’t suspecting it while getting ready in the morning. It’s amazing the cat isn’t deaf, either.

Scarily Easy Pumpkin Pasta

maybe the carbs will help lull me to sleep

Ingredients

  • 1 lb dried pasta (I prefer cavatappi)
  • 1 c fat free half and half
  • 1 c canned pumpkin
  • 1 tbsp fresh sage, finely minced
  • 1/4 c grated parmesan cheese
  • Salt
  • Pepper

How-to

  1. In a large pot, bring to a boil water. Salt generously.
  2. Cook pasta according to package directions and drain, reserving some of the pasta water if needed to thin out sauce.
  3. Return pasta to hot pot. Stir in parmesan cheese, then half and half, then canned pumpkin. Add in sage. If needed, thin out sauce with additional pasta water (this sauce will really thicken up as it cools).
  4. Salt and pepper to taste and serve!

Romance and Chili

And now, for a slight departure from my usual blog posts…the most romantic story I ever saw in medical school.

I was on a consult month at the time, and every day we would round on a particularly sick patient in the ICU (intensive care unit). He was a relatively healthy middle-aged man until a few months before, and then all of a sudden he got more and more sick until he was eventually having muscle spasms so bad that he actually fractured some of his vertebrae into his spinal cord (you need to have REALLY strong spasms in order for this to occur). To protect his body (and skeleton) from any further damage and possibly permanent paralysis, the man was intubated, sedated, and medically paralyzed.

By the time I finally met this patient, he had already been sedated and paralyzed for a few weeks. They had tried lifting the paralytic drugs once, only to have him quickly begin spasming again with concerns for additional fractures.

Through it all, his wife was by his side. She was a shorter woman, hair pulled back in a ponytail, who sat in his ICU room in a chair wearing his big hunting t-shirts and the exhausted look of a family member with a sick loved one. To be honest, she was the sort of woman who blended into the surroundings, the woman you’d sit next to on the bus or plane and not remember any real features.

Towards the end of the month, we again decided to lift the man’s medication to see if he could wake up and not spasm. The process starts the night before, with the hopes of enough of the drugs to be out of someone’s system by the next morning to see if they’re okay, and if not the medication can quickly be restarted (which had already happened before).

That morning, I was getting a cup of coffee before rounds when I had a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and a beautiful woman was standing there. I had no idea who it was until she began speaking.

It was our patient’s wife. “I just wanted to thank you for all of your help. I hope he’s able to wake up today. Just in case, I wanted to look pretty just for him. Even if he only sees me for just a second, I hope he’ll have something to see in his dreams.”

Our patient woke up that day. While he couldn’t move much since some of the paralytics were still preventing that, he was able to do one thing.

Right after he opened his eyes, he saw his wife and kissed her.

There was not a dry eye in his ICU room, especially not mine.

Worth Waiting For Turkey Chili

true love…in food form

Ingredients

  • 1 lb lean ground turkey (I’ve also done this with chorizo with excellent results)
  • 1 large can (28 oz) diced tomatoes
  • 1 small can (14 oz) diced tomatoes with jalapenos
  • 1 can hot chili beans
  • 1 can red beans, rinsed and drained
  • 1 large onion, diced
  • 2 medium green peppers, diced
  • 1 tbsp garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp cayenne pepper (feel free to use less if you don’t want yours as spicy)
  • Low-fat shredded cheddar cheese
  • Fat free sour cream

How-to

  1. In a large saute pan, brown the ground turkey and drain the fat.
  2. Get out a large crock pot while the turkey is browning. Add the tomatoes, hot chili beans (use all of the sauce!), red beans, onion, green pepper, garlic, and cayenne.
  3. Add in the ground turkey after draining.
  4. Cook on low for 6-7 hours or high for 3-4 hours, stirring occasionally. The chili is done with the onions and green peppers are tender and the tomatoes have mostly broken down.
  5. Top with cheddar cheese and sour cream, or whatever other chili toppings you prefer.

This recipe easily doubles if you’re feeding a crowd with a gigantic crock pot- normally then I’ll use 1 lb lean ground turkey and 1 lb chorizo. It also freezes great in individual portions!

Angry Patients and Arrabbiata Sauce

Sometimes, patients can express anger quite simply.

In medicine, you get quite used to dealing with angry patients. Sometimes patients are angry because they’re frustrated with care they received in the past. Other times, patients think that by yelling, they can bully the physician or nurse into doing what they’d prefer (whether or not it’s providing them with prescription drugs or lying to their insurance companies)…though you can probably imagine that as person like me yells back. ;)

And then, you have the patients who are just plain sassy.

I was recently on a consult month, which means that we’re asked by primary medicine and surgery teams to see their patients as “experts” in a certain organ system. For this consult, we were asked to see a patient who was currently intubated.

Patients are at different levels of “awakeness” when they’re intubated. Some patients are completely sedated, others are able to follow simple commands, while still others are awake enough that they can write responses to your questions.

As part of our assessment of an intubated patient, we need to determine how “awake” they are. If we already know the patient isn’t at the writing stage, we’ll normally ask patients questions and see if they can respond appropriately.

Fellow: Sir, squeeze my hand if you can hear me right now.

*patient squeezes hand*

Fellow: Sir, squeeze my hand if you are in a hospital right now.

*patient squeezes hand*

Fellow: Sir, squeeze my hand if the sky is orange.

The patient did not squeeze his hand. Instead, he glared (or as well as you can glare with an endotracheal tube in your moth) and slowly raised his hand towards our fellow.

Only his middle finger was pointing towards the sky.

Simple Gestures Arrabbiata Sauce

because everyone knows how to show displeasure

Ingredients

  • 1 lb hot Italian sausage (removed from casing if that’s the only way you can find it)
  • 1 lb lean ground turkey
  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 really large onion or two medium onions, diced
  • 3 tbsp minced garlic (feel free to add more if you’d like)
  • 2 large cans diced tomatoes
  • 1 small can whole tomatoes
  • 1/4 c sugar
  • 1 c red wine
  • 2 tsp red pepper flakes (again, feel fee to add more to kick up the spice)
  • 1 tbsp dried oregano
  • 1 tbsp dried basil
  • Salt
  • Pepper

How-to

  1. In a large saute pan, brown sausage and turkey. Drain the fat and put into a really large crock pot (if it’s the largest size you can find, that’s the way to go. I know it might seem crazy to have a crock pot that big, but you can cook an ENTIRE CHICKEN, enough chili for a party, or enough of this sauce to last you for a few family dinners. Or, in my case, enough to have friends over for one meal.).
  2. In the same saucepan, add in the olive oil over medium heat. Add in the onions until they start to sweat. Add in the garlic and saute until they become translucent. Add these to the crock pot.
  3. Pour in the 2 large cans of tomatoes. Add in the smaller can of whole tomatoes after breaking up by squeezing with your hands (get out that anger!).
  4. Stir in sugar, wine, red pepper flakes, oregano, and basil.
  5. Cook on low for 6 hours or until your entire house smells of delicious tomato sauce.
  6. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve over a good large pasta with ridges (see the rigatoni, above!). Top with some freshly grated parmesan and my family’s favorite- cottage cheese (yes, I know it sounds weird, but that’s how we do it in my house. It’s the only way I’ll eat cottage cheese).

P.S. This sauce freezes beautifully!

Snowcows and Steakhouse Leftovers

Sometimes nicknames get lost in translation.

I went to a teeny-tiny engineering school in the middle of Lake Superior for college. While the area is known for its magnificent fall colors, hiking, boating, and winter sports, it’s also known for the sheer lack of females.

In particular, my college class had a ratio of 8 guys to 1 girl.  The overall college was 3 guys: 1 girl at the time (it’s since improved). And still, the odds were not always in your favor. “The odds are good, but the good are odd” is a phrase that could definitely be applied to some of my male counterparts.

The ratio was also misleading…

  • If you subtracted the guys still dating their high school girlfriends, the ratio was 4 guys:1 girl
  • If you subtracted the computer engineers/science majors who thought that girls only existed in anime and had never spoken to a female in real life, except through a video game, the ratio was 2 guys: 1 girl
  • If you subtracted the man whores that you were sure were sources of an STD epidemic, the ratio was 1 guy: 2 girls
  • However, if you subtracted the female counterparts of the first and third lines, the ratio was still maybe 1:1.

There also was an unfortunate nickname for the girls that were less than desirable but would sleep with anyone…

Snowcows.

Anyway, it was the fall of my freshman year of college, and the grandparents and mother of the boy I was dating came to visit. During the exploration around the Upper Peninsula, we had the misfortune of stopping into a gift shop.

Now, somehow, his grandmother had heard the phrase “snowcow” (but, of course, just thought it was a cute term for any girl that went to Tech) so when she came across a cow puppet, there was logically one thing she thought of…

“Oh, here, let’s have you take a picture with this puppet! It’s two snowcows in the picture!”

I then was forced to endure a picture with said puppet, while my boyfriend at the time stood there absolutely mortified, since his grandmother had unknowingly just called me a whore.

Leftover Steakhouse Risotto

this is the only cow I’m okay being in a picture with

Ingredients

  • 4 c low sodium chicken or vegetable broth
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 onion, finely diced
  • 4 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 c arborio rice
  • 1 c white wine (I use a sauvignon blanc in the $8 range)
  • 1 tbsp butter
  • 2 c leftover roasted vegetables, brought to room temperature and diced into bite-size pieces
  • 1 c leftover steak, cooked rare, brought to room temperature and diced into bite-size pieces
  • 1 c grated smoked gouda (this gives it a mac-and-cheese type feel)
  • 1 tbsp steak seasoning (or more if you so desire)

How-to

  1. Bring broth to a boil, then reduce to simmer.
  2. Saute onion and garlic in olive oil in a large saucepan over medium-low to medium heat until onion is translucent (about 3-5 minutes)
  3. Add dry rice and saute for 2 minutes, stirring constantly.
  4. Add 1 c wine and stir until absorbed.
  5. Once the rice has absorbed the wine, start adding the broth, two ladles at a time. Your goal is to have this at a simmer. Stir frequently (but not constantly) until absorbed. Add more broth. This does take a while (you’re looking at about 20-30 minutes of active cooking from start to finish).
  6. Continue adding the broth at 2 ladles at a time until all the broth has been added. Add the butter.
  7. Cook, stirring almost constantly, until the risotto reaches your desired consistency (maybe another 5 minutes, tops!). Add in the leftover vegetables and steak.
  8. Turn the heat to as low as possible, then stir in the smoked gouda and steak seasoning. Remove from heat and cover for 5 minutes to let the leftovers heat up, then serve.

Psychiatrists Part 2 and Meatballs

It’s a rule in med school that residents and attendings are not allowed to ask out a medical student while they are overseeing them. Some people ignore that rule.

Now, this event occurred days after my last awkward encounter. This time, I was working in the Psych ER. This was a six hour shift in a room that was maybe 15 by 15 feet with at least 8 people occupying that space at any one time (and sometimes, more).

I was assigned to work with the resident that night, and the first thing I noticed is that there was something…wrong…with his face. Specifically, it looked like he had been attacked by a herd of clawed animals.

Which turned out to be the case.

Resident: My girlfriend just dumped me. She’s a vet. We had 8 cats that she left with me. I was holding one while I was crying and he didn’t want to be held.

Now, I like to think I’m a nice person, so I expressed my condolences. However, that was a mistake.

Resident: So, are you single?

(At this point, I’m wondering why on earth I’m getting asked this twice in one week.)

Me: Yes.

Resident: You seem like you’d be fun to date. We should get margaritas tomorrow. When are you free?

Now, this guy really wasn’t my type. Plus there was the issue of the 8 cats. Thankfully, I had an excuse up my sleeve!

Me: It’s actually med school policy that we can only have professional relationships with those that oversee us while we work with them.

Resident: Oh come on, no one follows that anyway. Go on a date with me!

I said no. He would not get the hint. He followed me up to the cafeteria when I attempted to escape to get a soda. He followed me around that tiny room. He kept asking. I kept saying no.

Finally, after about an hour of this ridiculousness, the social workers and nurses took pity on me and sequestered me into a corner with at least 2 of them standing guard at any one time.

Get the Hint Pesto Meatballs

just leave me alone so I can eat these! shown with my tomato sauce

Ingredients

  • 1 lb ground sirloin
  • 1 lb ground veal
  • 1 large onion, diced in large chunks
  • 2 eggs
  • 3/4 c breadcrumbs
  • 1/4 c parmesan, grated
  • 1/8 c skim milk
  • 4 tbsp garlic
  • 1/8 c pesto
  • 1/4 tsp pepper

How-to

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. In a blender or food processor, process the onion until smooth.
  3. In a large bowl, mix together onion slurry, eggs, breadcrumbs, parmesan, milk, garlic, pesto, and pepper.
  4. Break up the meat in large chunks and add to the other ingredients. Use your hands to combine.
  5. Coat a baking sheet or roasting pan in aluminum foil (for easier cleanup, but you can skip this step if you’d like).
  6. Use a cookie scoop to form round balls and evenly space meatballs in your baking sheet or dish.
  7. Bake for 30-40 minutes or until meatballs are no longer pink in the center (or use a meat thermometer to the ground meat setting).
  8. Serve with your favorite sauce on pasta or layer with sauce and mozzarella between two pieces of bread for a delicious sub. You could also coat these in your favorite sauce for an appetizer!

Psychiatrists and Spaghetti Sauce

There are things that you just don’t want someone to say to you.

While on my Psychiatry rotation, we had two weeks of various outpatient clinics. Now, in my opinion, psychiatrists are some of the most fun doctors out there. They tend to have some of the best senses of humor and they’re always having a great time.

However, my two most awkward moments in medical school did come on behalf of the psychiatry department (and yes, I promise the next story will follow).

So here I was, sitting in addiction clinic. We had a patient end up cancelling, and that meant we had about 45 minutes to chat. We had been talking about a number of issues normally- his new son, my research, the psychiatry curriculum in medical school- and then things took a turn for the worst.

Doctor: So, why aren’t you engaged?

Me (shocked and then attempting to be tactful): Well, I’m single, so that makes it a bit hard to be engaged.

Doctor (in an understanding, reassuring tone): It’s okay, I’m sure you’ll be married by the time you’re 40. And you still should be pretty by then, too.

He then moved on to some other topic, having no idea how insulting that was.

I saw this doctor last week at a conference and he pulled me aside to tell me how I have a brilliant mind. And no, I still haven’t forgiven him.

Get a Husband Tomato Sauce

maybe I should have started making this a while ago…

Ingredients

  • 3 lbs roma tomatoes, quartered
  • Olive oil
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • 1 large onion, diced
  • 4 tbsp minced garlic
  • 1/2 c red wine
  • 6 oz can tomato paste
  • 2 tbsp dried basil
  • 2 tbsp dried oregano
  • 3 tbsp sugar
  • Garlic salt

How-to

  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Place tomatoes in a roasting pan and drizzle with olive oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast for 1.5 hours, checking about every 20-30 minutes to make sure they aren’t burning.
  2. Place tomatoes in a food processor or blender and pulse until it reaches your desired consistency.
  3. In a large pot, saute onion in 3 tbsp olive oil over medium heat until it just starts to become translucent. Add in garlic and saute for an additional minute.
  4. Add in tomatoes, red wine, tomato paste, basil, oregano, and sugar. Simmer over medium-low heat for 30-40 minutes while flavors blend. Your home will smell amazing and neighbors might come knocking at your door.
  5. Use garlic salt and pepper to taste.

P.S. My apologies for being gone so long! It’s a bit difficult to post without the internet or a kitchen!

Art Museums and Chicken Salads

There are things that you just don’t want to know about your teachers. You especially don’t want to see them.

French was my foreign language of choice (I also couldn’t take Spanish because I have no ability to roll my R’s, and that was a requirement at my school to take Spanish). However, due to a number of wacky circumstances, I had 8 different French teachers in 5.5 years of taking French, all of whom liked to start over at the very beginning. That essentially means that I still excel at conjugating verbs, but that’s about the extent of my skill set. (I can read some things in romance languages, though).

Okay, back from my tangent.

In high school, our teacher decided that we should take a trip to the DIA, since they were having an exhibit of French painters. We obviously all decided to go, since this was a full-day field trip and what high schooler doesn’t want to skip out on the rest of their classes?

That morning, we all hopped on the bus for our hour long trip to Detroit. To our surprise, our French teacher decided to bring her husband along on our trip.

Now, I should take a quick moment to state that my French teacher was a very socially awkward women in her mid-60s, and that her husband was a very round and also very socially awkward man in his mid-60s.

We got to the museum without any issues and spent the next few hours wandering around looking at art. However, it was soon time to move on to the next attraction, and our French teacher and her husband were nowhere to be found.

That is, until someone went and used the restroom. And reported hearing weird noises and two pairs of shoes in a stall.

We thus were all waiting outside the men’s room when my teacher’s husband, and then my teacher, emerged.

French class was very awkward for the rest of the year.

Socially Appropriate Chicken Salad

always appropriate for any occasion

Ingredients

  • 2 c chicken, shredded
  • 1 rib celery, diced
  • 1/4 c walnuts, chopped
  • 1/4 c dried cranberries
  • 1/4 c fat free greek yogurt
  • 1/4 c light mayonnaise
  • 1/4 c fat free sour cream
  • 1 tbsp tarragon
  • Salt
  • Pepper

How-to

  1. Mix together greek yogurt, mayonnaise, sour cream, and tarragon.
  2. Add in chicken, celery, walnuts, and dried cranberries. If mixture is too thick, thin out with some skim milk.
  3. Salt and pepper to taste.