Phobias, Part 1, and Carrot Cupcakes

As a doctor, I understand your phobias. I even have some of my own.

I have a fear of rabbits.

Now, it didn’t help that my childhood friend’s family (yup, the same ones from the graveyard story) had an evil possessed rabbit. And yes, many of you might say that rabbits can’t be evil and possessed. I guarantee this one was. He tried hopping after and sinking his long rabbit teeth into anyone that got near him. On one particular occasion, he even chomped down on her brother’s cheek, wouldn’t let go while the kid went running around the house screaming (can you IMAGINE being a small child running with a rabbit hanging off your head) and literally had to be knocked out so they could detach him.

So, needless to say, I already had a baseline fear of rabbits.

When I was in second grade, my parents took my family to the petting zoo. We normally went to the regular zoo (we never went to the Detroit Zoo, but always went to the Toledo Zoo instead, especially at Christmas!). However, this was my first time at a petting zoo, and I was determined to try to conquer my fear of rabbits.

It was not meant to be.

I was calmly petting the rabbit, attempting to overcome my fears, when all of a sudden he whipped his little head around.

The rabbit bit through my middle finger. As in, you could look at my finger from the side, and see straight THROUGH my finger to the other side. It was like those pinhole cameras you made as kids, except this was my FINGER we were talking about.

Surprisingly, I walked calmly over to my parents, showed them the damage the rabbit had done, and then promptly burst into tears (it HURTS when a bunny bites through your finger!!!).

To this day, I still give rabbits a wide berth whenever I spot one, just in case they become tempted to hop up and bite me.

Rabbit Proof Gluten Free Carrot Cupcakes

the only thing I have in common with those wrascally wrabbits…a love of carrots

Ingredients

  • 1 lb carrots, shredded (use that food processor!)
  • 1 overly ripe banana
  • 1/8 c vegetable oil
  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 heaping cup packed brown sugar
  • 2 tsp vanilla
  • 3/4 c rice flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp ground ginger
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 c dried cranberries
  • 1/2 c golden raisins
  • 1/4 c pepitas (roasted pumpkin seeds)

How-to

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. Shred carrots. I normally toss them into a food processor and just pulse.
  3. In a mixing bowl or a stand mixer, beat together the banana, oil, egg, brown sugar, and vanilla. Add carrots.
  4. In a separate bowl, mix together the rice flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, ginger, and cinnamon into the ingredients are evenly distributed. Stir in the cranberries, raisins, and pepitas into the flour mixture (this will prevent them from sinking in the cupcakes).
  5. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix until incorporated.
  6. Evenly distribute mixture into 12 muffin lined muffin cups (those are pretty moist as the final product, so you’re going to need those liners!).
  7. Bake for 30-35 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Serve alone or with my goat cheese frosting (recipe to follow!).

P.S. These are quite healthy and great for breakfast, too!

Pot and Brownies

Sometimes my patients have interesting requests. I can’t always grant them.

On the oncology wards, we often have patients admitted for pain control. It’s not that these patients are drug seeking- their pain might be worse because of their treatments or because their disease is spreading. While this can often be done as an outpatient, sometimes it is just easier to bring someone in, try out a different pain drug or different doses, and see if we can send them home with less pain.

However, as I said, I can’t prescribe everything.

For this particular patient, I walked in the room, introduced myself, and asked the patient what his goals were for this particular visit (some patients are fine living with some degree of pain if it means they’re more awake, while others are fine with the sedating effects of certain medications if it means all of their pain is gone).

Patient (in a very eager voice): Look at the board!

And there, on the whiteboard under “patient goals,” was written very clearly in large black letters….

THC.

Me: Uhm, sir, I’m fairly confident that I cannot legally write you a script for medical marijuana in this state.

Patient: Well what about illegally writing me a script?

Me: I’m pretty sure I can’t do that, either.

Patient: But what if smoking pot helps my pain?

Me: I’m not saying that smoking pot doesn’t help your pain- I’m just saying that I cannot write you a script for medical marijuana. And you also can’t smoke pot you buy on the street here in your hospital room.

Patient: Really? Are you sure?

Me: Pretty sure it’s against the building code.

Patient: Damn. Guess I’ll take the morphine then.

Got the Munchies Gluten Free Brownies

no pot required…these are decadently addictive

Ingredients

  • 4 eggs
  • 2 cups packed brown sugar
  • 1 c vegetable oil
  • 1 tbsp vanilla
  • 1 1/4 c cocoa powder
  • 1 tbsp instant espresso powder
  • 1/2 c rice flour (can use regular flour too if you don’t want these gluten-free)
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 c semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • Cooking spray

How-to

  1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. In a large bowl, mix together eggs, brown sugar, vegetable oil, and vanilla until mixture is slightly lightened.
  3. Add in cocoa powder, espresso powder, flour, and salt.
  4. Stir in chocolate chips.
  5. Spray a 9×13 in glass baking dish with cooking spray (if desired, line first with parchment paper- it makes it easier to take the brownies out- and then spray). Pour in brownie batter.
  6. Bake for 40-50 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.
  7. These are super rich brownies, so cut into 32 pieces once cool.

I never said these were healthy…but cut into small pieces, they won’t kill your diet if you can attempt to limit yourself. Though that might be a big “if.”

These brownies also ship very well!