Inappropriate Date Proposals and Shrimp Pot Pie

There are times that you really don’t want to be asked out on a date.

I recently was getting my first tattoo. Now, I’m not normally the tattoo kind of girl, but it was in memory of my best friend (who you may recognize in stories here and here) who passed away 10 years ago, so it was one of those things that you just have to suck up and get.

I had literally been putting this off for ages, but happened to be sitting next to a tattoo artist when I recently dyed my hair red…which is how a week later I was lying on a bed in a tattoo parlor.

I had obviously seen the design beforehand, but I couldn’t see it when the guy was imprinting it onto my body with permanent ink.  I was lying there exhausted (I strategically planned this the day after I returned from a conference, since I knew I would be too tired to cancel). I had actually already fallen asleep in the middle of getting the tattoo, which caused quite a stir in the tattoo parlor since they thought I had passed out from pain (and then I had to reassure them over and over again that yes, I really was that tired, and yes, I have a high pain tolerance).

Like I said, I was tired and a bit cranky. And I had a chatty tattoo artist who apparently was unable to work without a constant stream of words coming from his mouth.  I was attempting to nod every once in a while to appear like I was paying attention.

That is, until I realized he must have asked me a question and was waiting for an answer.

Me: Excuse me, what did you say?

Tattoo guy: Oh, I just asked you if you wanted to go out for drinks sometime. You don’t have a boyfriend, do you? That would complicate things.

Now, please realize that at this point I have NO IDEA how much longer this is going to take. Besides, while I didn’t think he was the kind of guy who would mess up my tattoo if I said no, that wasn’t a chance I was willing to take (since tattoos are designed to be permanent and all…).

Me: No, I don’t have a boyfriend, and I’m out of town a lot, but maybe we can meet up.

Tattoo guy: Cool. I’m only a year younger than you, too.

At this point, I am praying for this to be done. Next, I’m not that old (I’m almost 26), so I don’t see why he had to point that out. I’m just feeling extremely awkward and praying it will be done soon.

And finally, it was done. He gave me his phone number and told me to call him sometime when I’m back in town.

I haven’t yet called him. And yes, the tattoo turned out fine. ;)

No Ink Required Shrimp Pot Pie

no need to tattoo the recipe to your body- just come back and find it here!

Ingredients

  • 1 lb asparagus, cut into small pieces
  • 1 large onion, diced
  • 8 oz mushrooms, sliced thinly
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 4 tbsp olive oil
  • 1/2 c flour
  • 2 1/2 c chicken or vegetable stock
  • 1 1/2 c skim milk
  • 1/2 c sherry (optional)
  • 16 oz frozen corn kernels, thawed
  • 16 oz frozen peas, thawed
  • 1 lb uncooked shrimp (51-60 count), peeled and deveined
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • 3 tbsp garlic powder
  • 3 tbsp dried parsley
  • 1 sheet puff pastry, thawed
  • 1 egg, beaten

How-to

  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. In a large soup pot, dump in asparagus, onions, mushrooms, garlic, and olive oil. Cook approximately 10 minutes or until onions are translucent.
  3. Add flour and stir for 1 minute to cook the flour-y taste out of the mixture.
  4. Add in vegetable stock, milk, and sherry. Bring to a simmer, then cook for 5 minutes while the mixture thickens.
  5. Add garlic powder and dried parsley. Salt and pepper to taste.
  6. Mix in corn, peas, and shrimp. Remove from heat.
  7. Dump mixture into an 9x13in baking dish (I prefer glass).
  8. Roll out puff pastry sheet to fit baking dish, with an extra 1/2 – 1 inch on each side. Place on top of pot pie. Using egg wash (aka the beaten egg), brush insides of baking dish and stick puff pastry to that. Also brush with egg wash on top. Cut a few slits.
  9. Bake for 25 minutes or until bubbly and golden brown.  Let cool 5 minutes before diving in.

P.S. Want to see who I’m reading? Check out my awards for Versatile Blogger, parts one and two!

Mistake #4 and Enchiladas

To begin, this is a continuation of “Stalking for Cheesecake,” where I said I would eventually tell mistake #4.

Here it is.

At this point in time, the stalker in question has been showing up on a weekly basis for the past two months.  He had originally been calling and texting me multiple times, but I blocked his number.  Thankfully, his sobs were loud enough that I could hear them outside my window, and thus I was saved from the misfortune of buzzing someone in (you can’t always see who is standing at the door) and then opening the door to him man-sobbing.

That is, until mistake #4 happened.  First, it was raining outside, which drowned out the sobs.  Second, my friend was on her way over and I still buzzed the person in, even though I couldn’t see who was outside the door.

I then opened my apartment door to the sobbing stalker (aka SS) and sighed.

SS: So my grandfather just died…

Me: Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.

SS: Anyway, we were going through his house, and I found these wine bottle stoppers and thought they would be the perfect gift for you, so here they are. (SS then proceeds to hand me a package of vacuum wine bottle stoppers, still in the original faded packaging that appeared to be from the early 1990s)

Me: You brought me wine bottle stoppers from your DEAD GRANDFATHER’S HOUSE?

SS: Well yeah, I thought it was the perfect gift.

Now, I’m sorry, but I don’t think that most people want things like this from the deceased whom they have never met.  At least, I certainly didn’t.

The very positive part of this story is that after I informed him to leave my apartment, he finally stopped showing up sobbing after 2 months.

Go Away Stalker Healthier Enchiladas

Ingredients

  • 2 cloves garlic, chopped
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • 14 oz low-sodium chicken broth (make your own or use 1 can)
  • 2 14 oz cans fire-roasted tomatoes
  • 1 can chipotle peppers in adobo sauce
  • 2 tbsp dark chocolate chips
  • 2 c protein (cooked shredded chicken or turkey, cooked and diced shrimp, or rinsed black beans) or 1 package frozen spinach, thawed and drained (or you could use 2 c any other roasted vegetable- zucchini, peppers, etc!)
  • 1 c fat-free sour cream
  • 1 1/2 reduced fat mexican blend cheeses
  • 2 cans diced green chilis (don’t drain)
  • 8 whole-wheat tortillas, burrito size (if you’d rather use corn, heat them so they don’t break when you fill them)
  • 1 c pepper jack cheese, grated
  • Cooking spray

How-to

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. Saute garlic and onion in olive oil over medium heat until onion just becomes translucent.  Add in chicken broth, fire roasted tomatoes, and dark chocolate chips.
  3. Determine level of desired spiciness- I prefer dicing up the entire can of chipotle peppers (extra spicy), but feel free to just use 1 chipotle pepper diced and 1 tsp adobo sauce.
  4. Cook sauce while simmering for 15 minutes over medium heat.  Voila- homemade enchilada sauce!
  5. While sauce is cooking, mix together protein or vegetables, sour cream, mexican blend cheese, and green chilis with their liquid. Divide mixture up into 8 equal portions (feel free to just divide in mixing bowl).
  6. Spray lasagna pan or 9x13in baking dish with cooking spray.
  7. Place 1/8 filling mixture into middle of tortilla, roll, and place seam side down in baking dish. Repeat with the other tortillas.
  8. Pour enchilada sauce over tortillas and top with pepper jack cheese.
  9. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for 45-60 minutes or until bubbling (normally 60 minutes in my oven).  Remove foil and return to oven for 10 minutes while cheese browns.

Serves 8 (and makes great leftovers, too!)