Sometimes nicknames get lost in translation.
I went to a teeny-tiny engineering school in the middle of Lake Superior for college. While the area is known for its magnificent fall colors, hiking, boating, and winter sports, it’s also known for the sheer lack of females.
In particular, my college class had a ratio of 8 guys to 1 girl. The overall college was 3 guys: 1 girl at the time (it’s since improved). And still, the odds were not always in your favor. “The odds are good, but the good are odd” is a phrase that could definitely be applied to some of my male counterparts.
The ratio was also misleading…
- If you subtracted the guys still dating their high school girlfriends, the ratio was 4 guys:1 girl
- If you subtracted the computer engineers/science majors who thought that girls only existed in anime and had never spoken to a female in real life, except through a video game, the ratio was 2 guys: 1 girl
- If you subtracted the man whores that you were sure were sources of an STD epidemic, the ratio was 1 guy: 2 girls
- However, if you subtracted the female counterparts of the first and third lines, the ratio was still maybe 1:1.
There also was an unfortunate nickname for the girls that were less than desirable but would sleep with anyone…
Anyway, it was the fall of my freshman year of college, and the grandparents and mother of the boy I was dating came to visit. During the exploration around the Upper Peninsula, we had the misfortune of stopping into a gift shop.
Now, somehow, his grandmother had heard the phrase “snowcow” (but, of course, just thought it was a cute term for any girl that went to Tech) so when she came across a cow puppet, there was logically one thing she thought of…
“Oh, here, let’s have you take a picture with this puppet! It’s two snowcows in the picture!”
I then was forced to endure a picture with said puppet, while my boyfriend at the time stood there absolutely mortified, since his grandmother had unknowingly just called me a whore.
Leftover Steakhouse Risotto
this is the only cow I’m okay being in a picture with
- 4 c low sodium chicken or vegetable broth
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- 1 onion, finely diced
- 4 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 c arborio rice
- 1 c white wine (I use a sauvignon blanc in the $8 range)
- 1 tbsp butter
- 2 c leftover roasted vegetables, brought to room temperature and diced into bite-size pieces
- 1 c leftover steak, cooked rare, brought to room temperature and diced into bite-size pieces
- 1 c grated smoked gouda (this gives it a mac-and-cheese type feel)
- 1 tbsp steak seasoning (or more if you so desire)
- Bring broth to a boil, then reduce to simmer.
- Saute onion and garlic in olive oil in a large saucepan over medium-low to medium heat until onion is translucent (about 3-5 minutes)
- Add dry rice and saute for 2 minutes, stirring constantly.
- Add 1 c wine and stir until absorbed.
- Once the rice has absorbed the wine, start adding the broth, two ladles at a time. Your goal is to have this at a simmer. Stir frequently (but not constantly) until absorbed. Add more broth. This does take a while (you’re looking at about 20-30 minutes of active cooking from start to finish).
- Continue adding the broth at 2 ladles at a time until all the broth has been added. Add the butter.
- Cook, stirring almost constantly, until the risotto reaches your desired consistency (maybe another 5 minutes, tops!). Add in the leftover vegetables and steak.
- Turn the heat to as low as possible, then stir in the smoked gouda and steak seasoning. Remove from heat and cover for 5 minutes to let the leftovers heat up, then serve.