In addition to tattoo artists in the midst of etching permanent ink, there are other times when it might not be the best to ask out a girl.
I was on my family medicine rotation during my third year of medical school. Now, as a medical student, you’re normally sent in first to take a “history and physical”- which is a fancy way of saying you get the patient’s story and then performed a focused exam (you just look at what’s wrong, plus listen to the heart and lungs for good measure). Yes, it might take longer to see a med student first, but I’d highly recommend it because a) it’s probably the best medical history anyone will ever take of you and b) if you’re being seen at a teaching institution, you’ll get seen faster by both a medical professional period and then the physician.
Anyway, I was sent in to see a patient having “nose pain.” That translated into a 20-something year old male whose nose was swollen on one side.
His story was pretty limited (started a few days ago, never happened before, hurts to touch), so I then moved on to the exam. I was in the midst of looking inside his nose when the following conversation occurred.
Me: So it looks like you have an infected ingrown hair inside your nose.
Him: Cool. That’s why it hurts. Hey, you’re really hot. Want to go on a date?
Me: Sorry, that’s against hospital policy (quick thinker here!)
Him: You can totally break that rule. Besides, my mom works for Michigan. That makes it okay.
I then felt that was the best time to go grab the attending physician to present the patient (in order words, recapping my findings) so we could get him out of there as soon as possible.
He asked me upon leaving IN FRONT OF THE PHYSICIAN if I would reconsider.
I said no.
Say Yes Red Wine Risotto
- 4 c low sodium chicken or vegetable broth
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- 1 onion, finely diced
- 4 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 c arborio rice
- 1 c red wine (I used a pinot noir, but any red wine blend in the $8-10 range will do- just make sure you like the taste!)
- 3 tbsp dried parsley
- 1/2 c freshly grated Parmesan cheese (I normally buy a 4 oz portion and grate it myself)
- Bring chicken broth to a boil, then reduce to simmer.
- Saute onion and garlic in olive oil in a large saucepan over medium-low to medium heat until onion is translucent (about 5 minutes)
- Add dry rice and saute for 2 minutes, stirring constantly.
- Add 1/2 c red wine and stir until absorbed. Add the rest of the wine and repeat.
- Once the rice has absorbed the wine, start adding the chicken broth, one ladle at a time. Your goal is to have this at a simmer. Stir frequently until absorbed. Add more chicken broth. This does take a while (you’re looking at about 30 minutes of active cooking from start to finish).
- When you’ve added about 3 c of the chicken broth, taste the rice. You’re looking for a pasta-like al dente (just chewy) consistency. It might not be done yet. Continue adding chicken broth until rice reaches this consistency and is creamy.
- Finish with parmesan cheese and salt and pepper to taste.