Breast Exams and Blackberry Scones

Remember my awkward classmate from my last post?

During your first and second years of medical school, you work with standardized patients who help teach you how to complete a variety of physical exams. These people are paid fairly well for all of the basic exams (heart, lungs, abdomen, et cetera). However, the people that get paid the best are those that are willing to teach the male and female anatomy exams to medical students.

For these exams, you learn how to complete them with a partner. And my partner just happened to be a very sheltered and awkward classmate.

In particular, he had never, to my knowledge, had a girlfriend. And, if I was a betting women, I would put a great bit of money on him never having seen a woman before in a state where she was not fully clothed.

Did I mention that he was my partner for the female anatomy exam?

We walked into the room, and our patient instructor at that point still had her gown covering her. However, she then told us that she wanted us to be “comfortable with the human body,” so she proceed to drop the front of her gown and sit there with her breasts exposed while talking to us about women’s health and the exam before demonstrating everything that we had to do.

She obviously was quite perceptive, since I have never seen someone look so incredibly uncomfortable before in my life. All of the color washed out of his face.

And all of that was before we had to demonstrate our knowledge by performing the exam.

Perfect Shape Blackberry Scones

you won’t want a store-bought scone again

Ingredients

  • 3 c flour
  • 1/2 c sugar
  • 2 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 3/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1 tbsp orange zest
  • 3/4 cold butter, cubed
  • 1 c buttermilk or sour milk (mix 1 tbsp lemon juice with enough skim milk to make 1 c and let sit for 5 minutes)
  • 6 oz blackberries
  • Skim milk
  • Powdered sugar

How-to

  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
  2. Mix together flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, baking soda, and orange zest.
  3. Cut in butter (like making pie dough) until you have pea-sized crumbles.
  4. Stir in blackberries and then buttermilk or sour milk. If you’d like the nice purple color, mix this with your hands so the blackberries smush a little. Mixture should be lumpy.
  5. Using a tablespoon, place large spoonfuls on a greased cookie sheet 2 inches apart (you’ll get about 12-16) and bake for 15-18 minutes. Remove and let cool.
  6. Mix together skim milk and powdered sugar to make enough frosting to drizzle 1 tbsp onto each scone.
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50 thoughts on “Breast Exams and Blackberry Scones

  1. Oh my gosh. If it were me, I would be thinking, “And OF COURSE I would get paired up with this guy!”

    I bet that there are probably a fair number of male medical students who have little or no experience with women in a clinical or non-clinical sense. Sounds like the patient instructor was a real pro. Good for her to be totally unruffled.

    That poor guy though! What a way to . . . um . . . cross one off the bucket list?

    Great scones too! Perfect shapes!

  2. Your mash-ups are great, very funny. I made cornmeal/sour cherry scones this morning and thought they came out looking like muffin tops. But they tasted great (crunchy edges!) so I’ll try for more height next time. 2 cups flour w/ 1-1/2 cups corn meal…

  3. There is something strangely compelling about the juxtaposition of the story of the physical exam and the picture of the scones. Is this actually an experimental art blog?

  4. This looks like a great recipe! I have always made a sweet fried dough…that we call scones, and have not been a fan of the traditional dry scone. These, however, do not look dry. They look delicious! Next breast exam…I’ll go home and make scones! 🙂

  5. Awesome post! I look forward to reading your new posts each time!
    Each one is unique and always makes me smile! Will have a go at the blackberry scones..they look yummy…especially if the weather remains so cold and dreary!

  6. Delicious looking recipe and hilarious story! Poor awkward/sheltered med student guy :(. How did he do on the exam? Do you know what specialty he went into? I’m always interested as to what personalities gravitate to different fields of medicine…

  7. Oh I feel so bad for him. It reminds me of when I was 21 or 22 and I signed up for a life drawing class. I’m from WV and led a VERY Sheltered life. I had just gotten married and (Which that in itself was a hard adjustment because of how sheltered my life was) and I don’t know why I didn’t realize what the class was but I totally missed it till I was sitting there waiting for the class to begin and a person walked in and dropped their robe and posed on a chair on a platform. My eyes dropped down and I never looked up for a LONG time and finally I decided I’d better get a grip and proceed because I love drawing and wanted to do it well. I was mortified so I can relate with how hard that must have been.

    ….and I love scones…looks like a great recipe. YUM! Will be trying that! Thanks Jan

  8. I’m so afraid of scones – I just know I’ll screw ’em up. But this is the second sconey post I’ve read in a week and now I have them on the brain. And you had to get all blackberry on me… I adore blackberries!

  9. Whoah, definitely didn’t know about this aspect of medical school. I thought my modeling classes in art school were the height of awkward, but now they sound pretty tame!

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