There is such a thing as a stupid request.
I was casually dating a guy. He was the sort of guy that was nice enough, but not really my type overall as I was quickly realizing. You know the guys that it would be better to have just been friends as opposed to date? He fell into that category…hence the “casually dating”. I was planning on ending it myself, but I knew he was really stressed with work (so I was barely seeing him anyway) so I figured I’d wait at least a little bit to not add to the stress.
One day, he came over to my house for dinner. I had just made an amazing lasagna with wild mushrooms from my local farmer’s market. I couldn’t wait to eat it.
I didn’t realize there was going to be a slight delay.
He walked in, sat down on my couch, and said “I think we need to take a break.”
Now, I’m not a believer in breaks, plus I really wasn’t sure what that meant when two people are casually dating.
“Well, I think we need to break up.”
Now, I was quite confused. How do you break up with someone who you weren’t even officially dating in the first place? I personally had planned on using the line of “I don’t think we should see each other any more,” but that’s just me.
And then, the piece de resistance…
“Is there any way I can take home a piece of lasagna?”
As you can probably guess, I ordered him to get out of my house. Without food.
P.S. My coworkers came over the next day for dinner, since, after all, I had a huge delicious lasagna to eat.
No Doggie Bags Wild Mushroom Lasagna
if he was smart, he would have waited until after dinner
Ingredients
- 2 lb wild mushrooms (if you can’t find wild mushrooms, use cremini or portobello)
- 3 tbsp olive oil
- 1 tsp worchestershire sauce
- 8 oz fat-free cottage cheese
- 1 large egg
- 1 stick butter
- 1/2 c flour
- 4 c skim milk
- 3 tablespoons garlic, minced
- 1 tsp nutmeg
- 1/2 + 1/4 c parmesan cheese
- 1 lb whole-wheat lasagna noodles
- Olive oil
- Cooking spray
- Salt
- Pepper
How-to
- In a large saute pan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Remove stems from mushrooms and slice thinly. Add to olive oil, along with worchestershire sauce. Cook for approximately 5 minutes or until mushrooms become soft and start to release liquid. Put mushrooms in a bowl to let cool.
- When mushrooms are cool, add fat-free cottage cheese. Salt and pepper to taste. Add egg and mix thoroughly.
- In a large pot, melt butter over low heat. Add flour and cook, stirring constantly for 1 minute.
- Switch to a whisk. Whisk in milk slowly so it is incorporated. Add garlic. Increase heat to medium-low and cook for 5-10 minutes (the whisk is best at first and then you can switch back to a spoon) until the mixture becomes thick and coats the back of the spoon (you know the trick where you run your finger down the middle of the spoon and the sauce stays on either side? that’s what you’re looking for).
- To sauce, add nutmeg and 1/2 c parmesan cheese. Salt and pepper to taste.
- In another large pot, bring a large quantity of heavily salted (I’m talking a near handful here!) water to a boil. Cook lasagna noodles to 1 minute less than package directions (you want it just shy of al dente). Drain and add a little bit of olive oil so they don’t stick.
- Finally, lasagna prep time! Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
- Coat a lasagna pan (or 9×13 in baking dish) with cooking spray. Add a small amount of the cream sauce and spread a thin layer on the bottom of the pan. Place a layer of lasagna noodles. Add in 1/2 of the mushroom mixture, then 1/3 of the cream sauce.
- Repeat with another layer of the lasagna noodles, the rest of the mushroom mixture, and another 1/3 of the sauce.
- Top with a final layer of lasagna noodles and the rest of the cream sauce. Sprinkle on 1/4 c parmesan cheese.
- Bake for 45-50 minutes or until top is brown and bubbly. Remove from oven and let cool for 15 minutes before serving.
I know the recipe looks rather complicated, but it comes together fairly quickly! Saute the mushrooms first, then make the sauce and boil the noodles at the same time. My coworker, good friend, and fellow blogger Colleen can promise it’s delicious!
9FMKHTNGUPW2
domestic diva, M.D. 
This looks really delicious!!
Kenley
Reblogged this on hottandtight.
That is both hilarious and weird….
Love this.
They say everything happens for a reason. You met him, so that you could make this delicious lasagna and share it with all if your grateful followers. I will be trying this dish soon! Thank you!!
His loss!!! Looks delicious!
It probably meant more to him than just “casual dating”… At least, he didn’t text, email, phone or fax you to do the “break-up”. He was “respectful” enough to say it in person. I’ll give him credit for good manner…:-) But not letting him walk way with your delicious Lasagna was the right thing to do!!
I actually would have preferred him to have done it via text or phone, since he ended up attempting to refuse to leave and continued to attack me (it apparently was a bad thing that I had my M.D., made more than him, et cetera)!
Oh my gosh. The gall! Good riddance!
Looks delicious — better to treat the co-workers!
They definitely appreciated the impromptu wine/lasagna/gossip night. 😉
good for you!!!! what a loser,oops, meant user!!!
I literally burst out laughing!!! I love your blog 🙂
This is an awesome story. Good thing it ended when it did, sounded like he was a real winner, sheesh.
Well played! Looks delicious by the way.
Reblogged this on Not So Skinny Genes and commented:
“If he was smart, he would have waited until after dinner” – Priceless
For him, it might have been the smarter decision 😉
Haha! Hilarious! – I waisted a few year in my life living with a guy who “wasn’t really together with me”, than broke up with me (aka kicked me out of the house) and than, after I had moved out and decided to live my very own very happy life, kept whinging on how I “left him” whilst he only “broke up with me”….I’m English 2nd language and for about a month he tried to convince me that virtually all native speakers use “break up” for “take a break”.
Funny times these were.
“Is there any way I can take home a piece of lasagna?”
Amazing.
Wow. he makes all men look bad. If you are going to break up before dinner, well, you pick something up on the way home. If you break up after dinner, clearly you have you lack a bit of class, but you are getting one more (incredible looking) meal in–which is worthy of a modicum of respect. But ‘breaking up and then asking for a doggy bag? Yeesh. At least he did not break up and then ask for one more dance ‘in the sheets’ for old times sake!
Good for you for ordering him out of your house! He should’ve waited until after the lasagna to break the news to you. At least you had a good meal and good friends to share it with the next day.
That just made me laugh out loud! But I’m glad the lasagna didn’t go to waste 🙂
A fool, clearly!
Oh you dodged a bullet there! As my grandma used to say “nowt so queer as folk”. She wasn’t kidding. The lasagna looks delicious! I wouldn’t have given him any either.
What a dummy
Ditch the dude! Keep the lasagna! Smart cookie.
Love the story!!! And the lasagna looks great!!! BTW, miss the days we used to play games online!! Do you play anymore games? LOL
All I can say is that the lasagna sounds way more delicious than the man 🙂
Hahaha it’s no competition 😉
Fortunately, I’ve a man who’s a keeper. Which, by the way, this lasagna sounds like it is!
Boys are so dumb. 😉
Thankfully not all of them are dumb!
Hey, he was the entire TOOLBOX. Lucky for you, his Spanner side came out before you had to share your grub. Thanks, by the way, for popping round my blogspot!
Haha… thanks for another laugh and great reciped. I love your blog!
Thanks! Always great to hear that 🙂
Looks amazing.
I am glad you did’nt give him any food.
Oh, boy, that reminds me of the time a guy who was interested in me (I had no idea) told me my new boyfriend was an asshole (he’s now my husband), then asked me to buy him a cup of coffee. Umm….no, thanks.
aaaah, what a tool! That’s funny. Obviously a dumb request but I”m guessing it is a testament to how good your wild mushroom lasagna was! I need to catch the mushroom guy in my local market this weekend and try the recipe out!
The gall of that man! Glad you didn’t share it with him! Lasagne looks great!
Ouch. I think he needs some basic etiquette/manner training. Glad to see you maintain your good sense of humor. But then, I can see why he couldn’t resist the heavenly aroma of your delish homecooking and asked for some takeout. lol
Ha! Idiot, always wait until after you eat!! That looks awesome though! I don’t do grains and dairy but I’m betting I can Paleo-afy this recipe!!
Let me know how it turns out!!! A bunch of my friends recently started Paleo so I’m slowly switching over some recipes
Yes, if he was smart and wanted to try the lasagna he would have told you after he cleaned his plate…
Hahaha.
I’m sorry to laugh over the break up but I must say… good riddance! Stupid request indeed. The lasagna just made me really hungry though, I need to get me some wild mushrooms!
Cremini work well, too!
You can’t really blame the guy… I mean that lasagna DOES look deelish.
😉
Yup, if he was smart…
But if you were going to break things off anyway, at least he saved you from feeling like the bad guy. And gave you a good story to blog. The hazards of dating a blogger, or future blogger. 🙂
He even knew about the blog, too!
Obviously he wasn’t that smart. I’m so glad you ordered him out foodless and doomed to eat something crummy.
I feel your pain. I too was raised to be a great housewife … I didn’t take that plunge until I was 43. Now I’m putting to use all those things she taught me.
Oh my god! HAHAHA! No way! Who does this guy think he is? Wow…
yes I think so
Reblogged this on Good Morning, Joe and commented:
Please read this great post by Domestic Diva, M.D.
Thanks!!!
What a douche! At least you didn’t have to share that awesome lasagne with him. Yum-O!
That really is hilarious about the break up thing. Did you at least pretend to care? 🙂 Also mushrooms are one of my favorite ingredients. I will have to put this recipe in my pocket for later. 🙂
Haha poor guy, I can see why he wanted to bring some home and not miss out – it looks goooooood!
I bet if he reads this blog, he will feel sad. I can’t wait to try this recipe out!
HAHAHAHA! to be fair looks tasty, ive got a lasaugna in the oven.
Yummy!
That’s a very good looking lasagna!
Best to get rid of that guy, if he can’t figure out that he should get the meal before trying to break up then he has some serious issues with getting his priorities right.
Thanks for the laugh 😀
Even I would have the sense to wait until *after* the food is served. 😉
Good for you! Ugh – what an asshole. Back in the day, fool I was, I probably would have given him a piece and fumed later. Love the way you handled it! May the next be a prince!
All I can say is his manners need fine-tuning. I question why his desire to do or say this overcame his desire to eat. Freud would have a field day with this…
What a great story! I think that if he had tasted that lasagne, he would have changed his mind and decided to stick around, so I’m glad you showed him the door when you did.
Yeah I’m actually quite happy that I didn’t have to share with him…though I did have all of my coworkers over the next night to enjoy!
This is hysterical! The incident I mean, and the recipe looks lovely.
Yeah these things seem to only happen to me…
Men never cease to amaze me! They automatically assume that after a few dates you’ve planned the wedding and picked out your kids names. HAHA…How arrogant of him. Thanks for that gym!
Yeah I have dated some guys for a really long time and I have never been the “wedding planned already” sort of girl.
#Stupid boy syndrome. You go girl!
So the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach? What have they been teaching us all this time? Not that it’s what you were aiming for anyway.
I laughed so hard…loved this post!!! And you’re absolutely right…he should have waited til after dinner!!!
What a loser. Jeez…
The lasagne looks too good for a guy you were not quite dating!
Yeah, maybe it’s better this way. He might fall into the category of “too dumb to date.”
Looks delish!!!! 🙂
Love it. Good post.
Unique food post .The recipe is delicious . Best wishes.jalal michael.
ha ha that’s cute – if he was smart he would have waited til after dinner 🙂
Dudes. What’s up with them???
OMGosh!!!! This is one of the best blogs I have ever read! Loved this!!!! Great story! You totally deserved being Freshly Pressed!
Awww thank you so much! I was pretty excited when they emailed me about it 🙂
That you made him leave without any lasagna totally cracked me up!
This made me laugh, some people are ridiculous.. but, I’m not going to lie, if i saw that delicious looking lasagna sitting there, i would probably ask you for a piece too even if we just “broke up!”
What a tool! Hahaha. Glad it all worked out.
Not too smart. He shoulda took the lasagna first …then “broke up” with u. A lesson for my own faux relationship (yeh I wish i had one). Now to make some yummy lasagna.
Reblogged this on SparkaliciousWit and commented:
Do not expect to take home “your supposed portion” of a meal after announcing you’d like a break. I love how Domestic Diva dives straight into the Lasagna Recipe. I would have stuck on the point on “HE’s breaking up with me?!?! We were even together!! Wait, there’s no WE! I’m gonna sit here and eat that delicious farmers market lasagna (one of my favorites by the way) while he can stare in growing hunger!! and He’s breaking up with me??? I (capital 80 pt font) was planning on breaking up with him! I was sparing his feelings!!
Yeah, and it’s not even me. See how ruffled i get? I might be prettier ruffled if I had a beautiful shiny plumage with shimmering green and blue feathers — just like a peacock.
Thanks for reblogging! 🙂
what a guy!!! i’m glad he didn’t get any food!
Next time just overnight it to me!
Or you could visit- the other option
Think I’ll try this tonight thanks! Silly man
Yummo! I guess I can add other veges too? Congratulations and Thanks!
You definitely can! My normal lasagna (if you check out the recipes tab you can find it) has roasted eggplant in it and a red sauce.
From experience – whatever happens, happens for good to everyone in the plot… I would say he was nice enough to let you decide about the lasagna. Congratulations on your patience and tact. Love you! Jyo
I’m pretty sure that I might have slapped him though if he just went to cut himself a piece 😉
This is one of the funniest food posts I’ve seen! Delicious looking lasagne too!
Thanks! I tried to make it more than just recipes 🙂
I love your theme! 🙂 Really pretty.
I’m from Indonesian, i am glad to meet you.. please visited my site http://libertoa.wordpress.com NOW!
Dangit! I hate when they beat you to the breakup punch! At least it was mutual 🙂 Lasagna looks great!
Whatever it made my life easier 😉
MMmmmmmm Lasagna, thanks for the recipe. Great post 😀
The cheek of some men! Love the blog, Domestic Diva, I look forward to more entertaining anecdotes and delicious recipes. And thanks for starting to follow TheYorkshireTart! All the best, TYT.
Hilarious. I was sad some other Colleen got to eat your lasagne but I’ll try to make it this week.
Haha, WordPress must have caught on to my reblog of this post 😉 kidding. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed.
Thanks! They emailed me on Saturday to let me know and I was super excited 🙂
I can imagine! So many blogs I read are getting Pressed, I’m only slightly jealous… but mostly proud 🙂
Thanks 🙂
I admire your spirit (and your blog!)- I’m afraid I would likely have given him a piece of the lasagna and then kicked myself. Good for you! Love your blog and congratulations on being freshly pressed.
And thank you for following me!
I liked all of your comments friends
Hilarious! I like to hope I would have done the exact same thing. Can’t wait to try your lasagna.
Wonderful Post. That recipe looks awesome!
Reblogged this on ilovemelonpan.
Thank you!
He sounds like a keeper.
Neither brains, nor sensitivity. HA!
I love blogs like this, thanks for sharing 🙂
Thanks! 🙂 Glad you liked it
Reblogged this on simplequickrecipes and commented:
This just looks so delicious and I’ve been wanting to make lasagna lately. Perfect!
Let me know how it turns out!
Oh, boys… idiots surround us, thank goodness for lasagna! Recipe looks like my next meal 🙂
I’m off to the market to buy the ingredients to make Break-Up Lasagne for a friend who is going through this too! Thanks!
Let me know how it turns out! 🙂
Brilliant! Men are undoubtedly the comic relief in this messed up sitcom of a universe….
That’s hilarious. What an ass.
Love this story and can’t wait to try the recipe. Just sent the post my son as a cautionary tale . . . too funny.
Hilarious!
Amazing story lol! Why on earth did he think you would share your delicious meal with him after that!? X
Again, didn’t understand his logic 😉
So he wasn’t much of a strategic thinker, then? 😉 Glad you got rid of him and you got to share such a yummy meal with more worthy recipients!
My coworkers were quite happy about it 🙂
Ha! I’m surprised he didn’t say “But can we still have sex?”
Hahahahahaha
Ah, i think the man showed great–if misused–courage. Lasagna looks good. Thanks for visiting (and following) my blog. Cheers!
He really should have waited until after dinner
This would be funny if it weren’t so sad and rude. Food story. Can’t wait to try the recipe.
Should’ve called it Wild Breakups and Mushroom Lasagna…
Haha, terrible planning on his part!
That is completely and deliciously awesome. Great story. And I think I need to try this recipe.
haha this is great – glad you didn’t give him any lasagna to go! and thanks for the recipe 🙂
Great co-workers! And no he didn’t have the nerve to ask you for a slice of lasagne!! My mouth dropped when I read that. Save your speciality foods for special people!
who needs guys when you have lasagna!
My son Ezra will be eight years old next summer, but for a while he told me he did not like mushrooms. There was this certain kind of lasgana that you can buy in my grocers freezers that has mushrooms and a white sauce in it. If I did not tell him that there were mushrooms in it than it was one of the few things that he would est.
Wow, how cheeky! That lasagna looks delicious, I’m not surprised he tried his luck getting a piece haha 😉
Oh my gosh…I love you! Is that weird? Too soon? Should I take you out for dinner sometime? Sorry..what I’m trying to say is, this post is lovely, and horrific at the same time. You’re style of writing is so quirky and charming, I’m jealous! First of all, I’m vegetarian, and I feel like I miss out a lot on lasagna parties cause no one makes them veggie friendly! So this is refreshing! And also, I have totally been in that social situation..except I baked him cookies, and he never showed up for our date, and then he never ever came over again…soooo those cookies became “I hate my life cookies” meaning they were yummy but somehow void of love. Needless to say I gave them to a stranger.
Hahahahahaha so I at least haven’t had someone say “I love you” too soon yet. 😉 But dinner sometime sounds great haha.
I used to be a vegetarian, so I know how rough it is! I eat meat now but still eat vegetarian a few days a week.
Oh no- he never showed up! His loss!
YOU ARE AWESOME.
& plus, doesn’t everyone know to wait until *after* food before a premature & unnecessary break up? But regardless of his ridiculousness, this looks delicious & will be eaten non-causally…with full force commitment! xo
His loss definitely! Men can come and go but good recipes are always here to stay.
Great Lasagne, sounds like you are better off without him.
As soon as I read that he asked for a piece to take home, I thought to myself, “he should have waited until after dinner to pull the trigger.” LOL, then you said it. Funny stuff. Here’s a vegetarian lasagna recipe that I ghost-wrote for a client:
http://livefitmagazine.com/2012/10/29/pumpkin-and-butternut-squash-lasagna/
Oh very nice! I’ll have to try that
I think you should have offered him some of Gertie’s apple pie. From my alphabetstory, business. hah ha
I’m going to make your lasagne, for two reasons;
a/it looks delicious, and
b/just to spite him.
Thanks for the follow!
More like casualty dated than casually dated.
Well put
So, I’m perusing Freshly Pressed, and imagine my surprise when I see the title of this post and think, “Hey, I’ve read that! I follow her already!”
Congrats!
:>
haaaa!!! Very funny, at least you got to share it with people who appreciated it!!!
Yeah they were much happier with that outcome 🙂
Who wouldn’t be grateful for that? well, apart from that bloke!!!
As I said, if he were thinking clearly, he would have waited until after dinner…
Thanks for the good read and light-hearted tale of your food creations and dating adventures!The hook to such an awkward and sometimes trivial break-up conversation, not to mention my dying love for lasagne, made me try the dish! It was great. I’ll be sure to make a note of the recipe for any future awkward relationship blunders or break-ups!
So glad it worked out well for you!!! Thanks for letting me know.
What a jack ass…but at least he appreciated your culinary talents. Great blog and thanks for the follow. Can’t wait to see your holiday treat recipes…think chocolate…
Check out my recipe for peppermint bark or espresso balls in the recipe directory!
Well written and hilarious! He probably knew if he had The Talk after the meal, he wouldn’t go through with it! All that “way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” stuff. Thanks for stopping by my blog, by the way!
Thank you for following! I look forward to reading your posts also.
Stephanie @ http://www.totheteeth.org
I can’t believe he actually asked for some of your lasagna! Good on you on throwing him out! It looks delish by the way. I just need to figure out a way of hiding those mushrooms from my daughters! Thanks for visiting… it has led me to your wonderful blog!
You could use any sort of sauteed vegetable…I think eggplant works better with red sauce (if you look at my recipe tab I have another recipe for that), but you could always roast a bag of mixed veggies for a few minutes before using that or summer squash/zucchini/spinach works well, too.
Thanks for following me. Your lasagna looks yum.
You’re welcome and thank you!
I hate boys! And by boys, I mean BOYS. They act like 15 year olds, no matter how old they are.
PS- that lasagna looks delicious!
I’m pretty convinced they go from 15 to 85, too 😉
Lol. This is one of the better things I have read all week. 🙂 very tasty looking lasagna.
Why thank you- that’s so nice to hear!
You are quite welcome. I always appreciate a good lasagna. Yours kind of reminded me of Alton Brown’s.
I actually think that’s one of the few Good Eats episodes that I haven’t seen…I pretty much combined my mom’s recipe for lasagna with a white sauce and a different kind of veggie. I’ll have to keep my eyes out for it!
This is the first post I’ve read of yours so far, and I love it already! If my body liked mushrooms I’d make this in a heartbeat; looks delicious, and definitely his loss…
Nice to read about your adventures in date land and with a recipe thrown in, that looks delicious.
Thanks! I’ve got quite a few awkward date posts…
Brilliant!
Hey there. I saw u liked my blog post ‘why shouldn’t one start a recipe blog” on ashthefibber.wordpress.com. I have discontinued this blog as I continue to have another one which I update often. So please follow me on ashtrash.wordpress.com where i have updated the same post… Thanks !
Thanks- will do!
OMG, OMG, OMG – that is just WRONG! But you are a gal after my own HEART – would have kicked him out too – and have! Mushrooms are my passion – thanks for including the recipe! I’m looking forward to reading more.
I think my best friend and I were the only kids in my neighborhood that loved mushrooms growing up…we used to make “mushroom salads” of just sliced mushrooms with ranch dressing 😉
Me too! Except I used Bleu Cheese 😀
Oh I’m deathly allergic to blue cheese
Then I would imagine that goes for penicillin too?
yup
Me too. But I eat bleu cheese anyway!
OH so funny! Thanks for the chuckle. Clearly he wasn’t smart! lol xo
The recipe sounds delicious! I will have to try it.
My goodness you are so funny and I am SO glad you decided to like my post or I might never get to know your blog 🙂 I’m definitely going to follow you from now on!
Have a wonderful 2013 you gorgeous and talented woman!
Cheers!
Nasyitah
http://www.coloursofthedomesticgoddess.wordpress.com
Hi there!
Just wanted to let you know that I featured this post on my blog for this week! I loved this post back when I read it and thought it would be a great addition. I’m featuring one post every day of the week (updated weekly), and yours is in the “Saturday’s Relationship Spiel” category. Feel free to check it out, it’s on the right hand side of my blog (you might have to scroll down a bit).
Cheers!
Marie
Good Morning, Joe
http://goodmorningjoe.wordpress.com/
Haha thank you!
Thanks for following my blog – I love wild mushrooms myself and Farmer’s Markets… and what a cheek – showed he liked your cooking though…
Only certain people deserve quality funghi and he’s not one of them. Now, if you want to follow a regular mushroom cliche’, he should be kept in the dark and fed s&*t.
I’m married 15 years but long ago I remember getting the arrogant letter (back when people still penned) saying how I was very nice but he (the “he” at the time) didn’t want a commitment. You would think I’d been dressed as Betty Crocker and not pursuing a fabulous career. I was stunned. As a result, I’m more than impressed that you didn’t hit Boy-o over the head with the lasagna pan. But, on reflection, if it would have even ruffled the contents, he certainly wasn’t worth it.
Yeah, if I wasn’t going to waste a piece of lasagna on him, I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to hit him with the pan 😉
Yes… IF he was smart, he would have waited. Men can be so dumb 🙂 I wouldn’t have shared, either! This looks delicious — I’ll have to put this on my list of things to (veganize and) try 😀
Let me know how that turns out!
Love this story.
I like the story. Very funny and good for you!
Thanks!!!!!