Plays and Chicken

I can’t wait to be old. Then I can say whatever I want.

My medical school is known for a number of crazy traditions. One of them is the 2.5 hour long musical that we write, produce, and star in every year. This is far more involved than any high school production I ever did…and my high school theater group was not one to half-ass a production.

As with every tradition, this musical is made up of more traditions. The musical always features the “babe dance” and the “stud dance,” which feature the about-to-graduate girls and guys, with the guys always coming up with clever ways to show their muscles and take off all of their clothes so they are dancing in their underwear. There are also roles that appear every year…

The Giant Penis and the Giant Vagina (and, a more recent tradition…the Giant Anus…which is really more of a Butt, to be honest).

These obviously come with huge, handmade (honestly, I wonder whose mother made these, because they are quite hideous) puffy, life-sized costumes. You can see the actor’s face, as they have holes strategically cut out for that.

Now, before I get any further, I should take a moment to say that these are actually quite coveted roles- they always have a lot of lines and it’s some of the most over-the-top acting in the whole show.

My very first year of medical school, I got the role of the Giant Vagina, with some uproar (it’s normally a fourth year female going into gynecology…and that student was not the most happy that she didn’t get the part). My parents decided to come to the play, and I did have to warn them ahead of time that I would be wearing a huge, ugly vagina costume.

My parents took it quite well, but the unexpected call came from my grandfather.

Grampa: Hey honey.

Me: Hey Grampa!

Grampa: So I hear you’re going to play a huge vag?

I managed to eventually choke out a “yes” after I finally recovered from shock.

Costume Inspired Oven Beer Can Chicken

I don’t think I need any more explanation


  • 6 oz beer or some other liquid (soda works well, too)
  • 1 whole chicken (about 4 lbs)
  • 2 tbsp light butter
  • 1 tsp rosemary
  • 1 tsp paprika
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp hot sauce
  • Garlic salt
  • Pepper
  • Olive oil spray


  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Using an empty soda or beer can, pour in your liquid of choice. Or, open a new can of your beverage of choice and drink half.
  3. Mix together butter, rosemary, paprika, garlic, and hot sauce.
  4. Using your fingers, make pockets between the skin and the meat of the chicken. Smear the butter mixture in these pockets. Try to cover as much of the chicken as you can.
  5. Spray the outside of the skin with the olive oil spray and sprinkle on the garlic salt and pepper.
  6. In an 8×8 in baking dish, place the can with the liquid in the center. Place the open end of the chicken over the can and use the drumsticks to almost create a tripod to stabilize the chicken.
  7. Place into the oven and roast for 1 hr 45 minutes to 2 hours or until juices run clear. Remove from oven and let rest for 15 minutes before removing from can and carving.