I can’t wait to be old. Then I can say whatever I want.
My medical school is known for a number of crazy traditions. One of them is the 2.5 hour long musical that we write, produce, and star in every year. This is far more involved than any high school production I ever did…and my high school theater group was not one to half-ass a production.
As with every tradition, this musical is made up of more traditions. The musical always features the “babe dance” and the “stud dance,” which feature the about-to-graduate girls and guys, with the guys always coming up with clever ways to show their muscles and take off all of their clothes so they are dancing in their underwear. There are also roles that appear every year…
The Giant Penis and the Giant Vagina (and, a more recent tradition…the Giant Anus…which is really more of a Butt, to be honest).
These obviously come with huge, handmade (honestly, I wonder whose mother made these, because they are quite hideous) puffy, life-sized costumes. You can see the actor’s face, as they have holes strategically cut out for that.
Now, before I get any further, I should take a moment to say that these are actually quite coveted roles- they always have a lot of lines and it’s some of the most over-the-top acting in the whole show.
My very first year of medical school, I got the role of the Giant Vagina, with some uproar (it’s normally a fourth year female going into gynecology…and that student was not the most happy that she didn’t get the part). My parents decided to come to the play, and I did have to warn them ahead of time that I would be wearing a huge, ugly vagina costume.
My parents took it quite well, but the unexpected call came from my grandfather.
Grampa: Hey honey.
Me: Hey Grampa!
Grampa: So I hear you’re going to play a huge vag?
I managed to eventually choke out a “yes” after I finally recovered from shock.
Costume Inspired Oven Beer Can Chicken
I don’t think I need any more explanation
Ingredients
- 6 oz beer or some other liquid (soda works well, too)
- 1 whole chicken (about 4 lbs)
- 2 tbsp light butter
- 1 tsp rosemary
- 1 tsp paprika
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 tsp hot sauce
- Garlic salt
- Pepper
- Olive oil spray
How-to
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Using an empty soda or beer can, pour in your liquid of choice. Or, open a new can of your beverage of choice and drink half.
- Mix together butter, rosemary, paprika, garlic, and hot sauce.
- Using your fingers, make pockets between the skin and the meat of the chicken. Smear the butter mixture in these pockets. Try to cover as much of the chicken as you can.
- Spray the outside of the skin with the olive oil spray and sprinkle on the garlic salt and pepper.
- In an 8×8 in baking dish, place the can with the liquid in the center. Place the open end of the chicken over the can and use the drumsticks to almost create a tripod to stabilize the chicken.
- Place into the oven and roast for 1 hr 45 minutes to 2 hours or until juices run clear. Remove from oven and let rest for 15 minutes before removing from can and carving.
domestic diva, M.D. 
Wow! I love the story! I could not stop laughing. I’m not sure what I would do if my Grampa called up and spilt that mess in my ear.
I think if my Grandpa, or one of my Parents for that matter said something like that to me I would have fainted there and then…. You just don’t expect to hear something like that from any from them.
It is like a 101 things I never thought I hear my family say to me
I will never look at a half chicken the same way again…ha
HAHAHA! What a story to go with your beer Chicken!! My mom LOVES making beer chicken. She would make it often when we went to her house for weekends, however my husband was NEVER able to eat any… he was always busy (not because he wanted to be, he would literally get called in to work that day). So she swears it is great, which it is, however he hasn’t been able to “test” it on his taste buds. Perhaps I’ll give your recipe a go, and while he is eating it… tell him your story. 😉
Ha! Alcohol HAS to be involved when you’re designing a vagina costume. I love your posts–you’re such a good storyteller. If that whole medicine thing doesn’t work out you could have a writing career 😉
I’ll keep that in mind. If anything, with how much debt I have, I’ll need something to augment the residency income…
Well that would take the Vagina Monologues to a whole new level. Have you fully recovered yet (from the surgery, not from the costume & commentary from Grandpa)?
Not yet unfortunately…
I think some form of celebratory risotto will be in order when you are back to your old cooking self! Feel better soon! 🙂
Ha ha This so made me LOL – my SIL is in acting and L and I saw some pieces performed by her company – she made sure to tell us she, K, didn’t take part in the last act, one which portrayed a lesbian relationship in which one of the women wanted to use a strap-on .. amazingly catchy tunes but the water affects from the giant vagina were mayve a step too far …
This was hilarious! I had to read it to Vince, too…couldn’t keep the laughs all to myself. I had no idea about these med school traditions…I would’ve thought it was an urban legend if I didn’t hear it from the vagina..er…horses’ mouth 😉 I love the beer can recipe, too…putting a can in always makes a whole chicken more moist, doesn’t it? We sometimes use a lemon for a similar effect.
This looks tempting- the chicken part anyway! I’ll force myself to refrain from explaining the giant vag likeness for my family when I serve it tomorrow! Great story!
you have some awesome memories of school. a great recipe on top? how much better can life be than this???
So funny! And the recipe looks amazing!! 🙂
Oh…we’re supposed to wait until we’re old? That’s what I’ve been doing wrong!
Well, I think that only my grandfather could get away with asking me that question 😉
I was actually commenting on the very first sentence…but I did spit wine on my keyboard when I got to your grandpa’s question. Good stuff.
This is hilarious! I love how old people say whatever they want, it’s like kids who have no shame say whatever they want. Actually, I wonder why we feel the need to hold back in the middle of our lives? Maybe we should ALL just say whatever we want, whenever we want! Yummy chicken recipe x
I can’t wait to be old too! In college, a friend of mine worked at a Starbucks over the summer. He said that there was this old lady who used to come in and order her coffee like how she liked her men: hot, steamy, and creamy.
He said it never got old.
You do really need to read my post on Horny Old Ladies and Mashed Potatoes…
Oh my word….that is HILARIOUS. My niece (who, by a large variance in age between my husband and his sister, is my own age) is a psychologist and told epic tales each year of the follies-type show they did in med school. Each class did a short film, trying to top each other and previous years in how absolutely ridiculous they could get. I think their last year, they (for real) hired midgets to be in their production. I can’t recall the exact details, but I think I forgot on purpose.
Hhahahah!Wow your post are so funny and so creative!Congrats!,,I enjoyed reading this one
Beer can chicken is a good thing and that’s a good example. Interesting that the Anus has joined the cast – must be the zeitgeist.
I wish I’d gone to your med school, we had a review but nothing like yours. I’m still laughing out loud over the giant penis, vagina and anus.
Haha, can I adopt your Grampa? He sounds FABULOUS! 😀
Hilarious! But I think we need shots from the play or a short video 😉
Great recipe, btw! I knew this recipe with coke, now I have to try it with beer.
Ha that was great!
You made me laugh out loud! nd I shall have to try that chicken recipe. Thanks a lot for both!
Thanks for the laugh !!!!!! The chicken has the same cooking technic as Pekin’ duck … *smile –
mmm. this looks great! Roast chicken – This is the sole reason I fail at being a vegetarian!
I can’t believe you didn’t post a costume pic. Of course, then I guess you’d get a whole new demographic of readers.
When I was younger I always thought being a Grandma would be great…I was dubious however about the mama part. I’m ‘in medias res’ w/ the mama gig and love it. But I note the freedom of my older friends 😉 Hurray for your Grandpa!!! There’s a man ahead of the curve.
*anna
I am old & it’s great! I happen to have a whole chicken waiting for something to happen to it so this looks good to me (no it’s not the chicken in the noose on my last post either). Helping w/a 2nd grade play on bugs one year I once sent a little boy out on stage as a bumble bee. Audience was roaring & I didn’t know why until he came off backstage & said “Mithus M, how come my stinger’s on the front and not on my butt like the other bees?” Oh geez….
So you told a story about a giant vagina and then included a recipe in which you shoved a can in to an orifice. I see the connection. I like it.
Beer can chicken? My boyfriend J is bowing down to you right now. Thanks for sharing!
Love, B
Great story!
Too funny! I will never look at half chicken again! 🙂
How the idea of having a giant vagina and penis in a play came to be is beyond me but I would have loved to see it.
It is a med school, after all. Those traditions at least date back to the 1960s.
Hi- Thanks for following, and I’m looking forward to browsing through your recipes. Looks amazing!
Speedy recovery!
So…. when I took a pic of dinner tonight I thought of you and your vagina/anus!! 😉 Check out the picture that goes with this recipe! http://mealsfromthemarket.wordpress.com/2012/04/25/savory-stuffed-loaf/
Hahahahaha very nice!
No don’t wait until you get old to say what you want. Say it now! Shout it out. And another thing – I’m never going to be able to look at chicken in quite the same way again….
My apologies 😉
I think it’s very creative how you integrate personal stories to a recipe. It sure makes your recipes fun to read! Great blog… I totally dig it! ~Val~
Kudos to the Giant Vagina!! Absolutely love the way you can weave a story into anything. My Hero(ine)
Thanks 🙂
I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award! You can see the post here: http://fashionblogy.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/versatile-blogger-award/ Congratulations! Here’s the website if you want more info on your award: http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/
I love it! Doing the recipe this weekend!
Rosemary and chicken: a match made in heaven. Thanks for the follow. Hope you like my grilled cheese variation. I can’t eat enough avocados, I add them wherever I can.
Do you have any great avocado recipes? I’d love to try them.
Awesome blog btw. Hilarious. Great stories.
My family is filled with medical professionals: OB/Gyn, Internal Medicine, GP, Cardio… I took the other route and became a corporate paralegal lol. I ended up in medical malpractice defense, so my family was relieved!
Looking forward to visiting your blog again.
oh man, this chicken looks good. i think i might have to pick up a yummy beer sometime soon for cooking it…
Oh my goodness, that is HILARIOUS!!!
I made this yesterday & it was delicious. Of course my husband did ask my why I shoved a beer can up the chicken’s butt… had no real answer for him other than “that’s what you’re supposed to do”.
The liquid steams the chicken from the inside so it doesn’t dry out. 🙂
Thank you, I wish I’d come up with that one – I went with “well the reflection of the can cooks the chicken from the inside” but I don’t think he bought that one nor did he decide to drink the remainder of the beer that was in the can although I offered.
Pardon me. I think I just peed my pants! This is just too funny. After such, I think I would have chuck that beer straight down. Love beer roasted chicken. It makes it so moist and favorable. Instead of sausage casserole, I would have much prefer the roasted chicken 😀
This tickled me. Great idea too, will give it a try x
Hey, thanks for the follow. I am looking forward to exploring your blog further. 🙂
Your grandpa sounds cool! Btw I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, if you haven’t been nominated already. 🙂
Thank you very much 🙂
Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat.Com™ and commented:
Chicken, an oven, and beer….all from the Vagina Lady M.D. Check out the blog: “domestic dive M.D.”
Thank you! 🙂
My pleasure Ms. MD
Looking good and delicious!!
Love the recipe and love the story. What if you Granpa would have actually come to the show? 😀
He did borrow the DVD of the show that year and watched it…with my parents 😉
Lol… Well then he is a sweetheart 🙂
I love your blog!!! Just got a free range chicken yesterday. Think I’ll be trying your recipe tonight. With suitable story at the dinner table. Thanks for liking and following my blog http://thecherryfarm.wordpress.com/
It will be a pleasure for me to follow yours!!! (:
the only way I roast a chicken, looks super yummy! thank you for sharing!