You know the joke about people who say embarrassing things after anesthesia?
I am one of those people.
Now, before you all panic, this does not happen to all people. This also doesn’t happen after all anesthesia- I’ve seen it happen mostly in those patients that just had those “conscious sedation” procedures such as colonoscopies and endoscopies. (A quick note- conscious sedation DOES NOT mean that you awake. It simply means that we don’t give you quit enough anesthesia to require us to stick a breathing tube down your throat.) We anesthesiologists and our fellow post-op and post-procedure extraordinaires do not take anything you take seriously when you are in the recovery period. That’s also why we give you a few minutes before we bring your families back.
Unfortunately for me, I am just too chatty for too long.
As part of my pre-surgical workup, I had to have a few of those “conscious sedation” procedures. My pre-op nurse was this older, crass gentleman who thought the best way to calm me down (hey, we get nervous, too! if anything, we get MORE nervous than you do, because we know everything that can go wrong!) was to tell me amusing stories.
In particular, he told me about a husband and wife who spent their time in pre-op trying to come up with the best way to describe just how small his penis and testicles were. Apparently the wife won by describing an exploration into her husband’s pants as trying to find some sort of small object (I unfortunately don’t remember what she said) in a large, dark basement.
I then was whisked off to the procedure suite, and the next thing I knew, I was in the recovery area with my friend sitting next to me.
I was also chatting away quite loudly, retelling the awkward husband and wife story that my pre-op nurse had told me. And then, I saw it- a glimmer of an expression on my friend’s face.
Me: I’m repeating myself, aren’t I?
She smirked and said, “Fourth time in a row for that story- not that I’m counting or anything.”
Me: And I’ve been talking in a loud voice, too, haven’t I?
Another smirk, and then, “You really don’t want to know the answer to that.”
Pre-and Post-Op Spicy Pulled Chicken
make this before your procedure, and it’ll be ready to eat once you get back!
- 2 lbs chicken, frozen (I used boneless chicken breasts, but use whatever you like- just realize you’ll need to go up slightly on the weight of your chicken if you use bone-in)
- 1 jalapeno pepper, sliced into thin rounds
- 1 c honey barbeque sauce
- 1/4 c sriracha
- 1/4 c plain white vinegar
- 1 tbsp worchestershire sauce
- 1 tbsp Adobo seasoning
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 tbsp brown sugar
- 1/2 tsp pepper
- In a crock pot, mix everything together but the chicken, and then place in the chicken pieces. Toss in the sauce.
- Cook for 2 hours on high or 4 hours on low.
- Remove chicken and use fork to shred. Return to sauce mixture and cook for an additional 30 minutes on high or 1 hr on low.
I think this is great on a toasted whole-wheat bun topped with coleslaw…or on a pizza (recipe to follow next week!)
P.S. Six days until I can cook again…not that I am counting or anything…