Grandsons and Pumpkin Bread

Sometimes, patients have ulterior motives.

I was trying very hard to discharge my patient, an up-to-this-point very pleasant, easygoing Thai woman.

It just wasn’t working.

We told her at 6am (I was, after all on a surgery month, where rounds start far earlier and thankfully are far shorter) that we’d be sending her home later that day once her paperwork was done.

I was done with her paperwork by 9am, with her discharge order in shortly afterward.

And here was where the trouble began. Now, most people don’t like being in the hospital. Yes, you do have a few people who attempt to work the system, but in general, being in the hospital is NOT like being in a hotel (more stories on that to come in future posts).

First, she wanted refills of every medication she ever took, along with having them hand delivered to her room. Accomplished.

Next, she wanted to stay through lunch, as her family wouldn’t be able to pick her up until the afternoon. Request granted.

Then she wanted both the flu shot and the pneumonia vaccine. Ask and you shall receive.

I kept getting paged over and over again to go into her room and answer questions. (Can I shower when I get home? Well, we let you shower here, so…Can I eat my normal foods? Well, we had you on a general diet here, soo…)

And then the real truth came out.

Patient: So, you no married, no? My grandson, he real hottie for young doctor. He be here soon! Make grandma proud! Nice doctor to marry!

I then had to politely decline her offers to grant me a husband.

Potential In Law Approved Pumpkin Bread

Pumpkin breadin case I ever truly find myself in that situation

Ingredients (makes 2 large loaves of bread)

  • 1 overly ripe banana
  • 1/2 c vegetable oil
  • 3 cups brown sugar
  • 4 eggs
  • 15 oz can pumpkin
  • 1 c whole wheat flour
  • 2 1/3 c white flour
  • 1 c dried cranberries
  • 2 tsp baking soda
  • 1 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp nutmeg
  • 2/3 c water
  • 4 tbsp roasted pepitas (pumpkin seeds)
  • 2 tbsp white sugar
  • Cooking spray

How-to

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Liberally spray two loaf pans with cooking spray (otherwise these puppies won’t come out, and you certainly don’t want that!).
  3. In the bowl of your stand mixer (though feel free to make this by hand if you so choose), beat together banana, oil, and sugar. Add in eggs, one at a time, then pumpkin.
  4. In another bowl, mix together flours, dried cranberries, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
  5. With the stand mixer running on low, alternate adding the flour mixture and water (I do flour/water/flour/water/flour).
  6. Equally divide batter between the loaf pans.
  7. Sprinkle each loaf with 2 tbsp pepitas and 1 tbsp sugar.
  8. Bake for 55-65 minutes, rotating one halfway through, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out cleanly.
  9. Cool bread for 10-15 minutes in the pans, then carefully remove from pans (remember, I said they stick!). Let bread cool completely, then wrap in plastic wrap covered by aluminum foil and wait to eat until the next day (or immediately if you cannot wait). Slice thinly (or thickly if you must) and enjoy!
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Psycho and Pumpkin Pasta

Little brothers can get the best of you.

Growing up, my dad and I would have our Sunday night tradition- watching Alfred Hitchcock movies on the classic movie channel on Sunday nights. There was nothing like a big bowl of popcorn, ginger ale, and a good thriller (especially knowing that Dad was there to protect me in case I got too scared!).

I should probably take a quick moment to state that I get *way* to into movies/books/tv shows…to the point where I will cry during sad or emotional scenes (let’s not talk about that google chrome commercial from a few years back), yell out encouragement to movie characters (yes, in the theater), or practically look like I’m having a seizure from wringing my hands during stressful moments. And yes, this is quite enjoyable for other people to witness.

On this particular Sunday night, my dad and I had watched Psycho. As always, I had gotten a bit scared, but with Dad there I was able to tough it out. Afterwards, I hopped into the shower to start getting ready for school on Monday.

Now, for those of you that haven’t seen the movie, there is a memorable scene where a woman is stabbed through a shower curtain.

You can probably already see where this story is going.

My mother, bless her heart, told my middle brother of a wonderful trick he could do…all he had to do was grab his huge plastic pirate sword.

So, here I was, showering, thinking about going back to school the next day, still a bit on edge from the movie, when the next thing you know I felt myself being jabbed through the shower curtain with a knife-like object.

Let’s just say that my vocal cords gave a performance worthy of Psycho itself. It’s a wonder my brother still has his hearing.

P.S. Years later in medical school, the cat I had hit me with her paw through the shower curtain when I wasn’t suspecting it while getting ready in the morning. It’s amazing the cat isn’t deaf, either.

Scarily Easy Pumpkin Pasta

maybe the carbs will help lull me to sleep

Ingredients

  • 1 lb dried pasta (I prefer cavatappi)
  • 1 c fat free half and half
  • 1 c canned pumpkin
  • 1 tbsp fresh sage, finely minced
  • 1/4 c grated parmesan cheese
  • Salt
  • Pepper

How-to

  1. In a large pot, bring to a boil water. Salt generously.
  2. Cook pasta according to package directions and drain, reserving some of the pasta water if needed to thin out sauce.
  3. Return pasta to hot pot. Stir in parmesan cheese, then half and half, then canned pumpkin. Add in sage. If needed, thin out sauce with additional pasta water (this sauce will really thicken up as it cools).
  4. Salt and pepper to taste and serve!