“Breakups” and Wild Mushroom Lasagna

There is such a thing as a stupid request.

I was casually dating a guy. He was the sort of guy that was nice enough, but not really my type overall as I was quickly realizing. You know the guys that it would be better to have just been friends as opposed to date? He fell into that category…hence the “casually dating”. I was planning on ending it myself, but I knew he was really stressed with work (so I was barely seeing him anyway) so I figured I’d wait at least a little bit to not add to the stress.

One day, he came over to my house for dinner. I had just made an amazing lasagna with wild mushrooms from my local farmer’s market. I couldn’t wait to eat it.

I didn’t realize there was going to be a slight delay.

He walked in, sat down on my couch, and said “I think we need to take a break.”

Now, I’m not a believer in breaks, plus I really wasn’t sure what that meant when two people are casually dating.

“Well, I think we need to break up.”

Now, I was quite confused. How do you break up with someone who you weren’t even officially dating in the first place? I personally had planned on using the line of “I don’t think we should see each other any more,” but that’s just me.

And then, the piece de resistance…

“Is there any way I can take home a piece of lasagna?”

As you can probably guess, I ordered him to get out of my house. Without food.

P.S. My coworkers came over the next day for dinner, since, after all, I had a huge delicious lasagna to eat.

No Doggie Bags Wild Mushroom Lasagna

if he was smart, he would have waited until after dinner

Ingredients

  • 2 lb wild mushrooms (if you can’t find wild mushrooms, use cremini or portobello)
  • 3 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 tsp worchestershire sauce
  • 8 oz fat-free cottage cheese
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 stick butter
  • 1/2 c flour
  • 4 c skim milk
  • 3 tablespoons garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp nutmeg
  • 1/2 + 1/4 c parmesan cheese
  • 1 lb whole-wheat lasagna noodles
  • Olive oil
  • Cooking spray
  • Salt
  • Pepper

How-to

  1. In a large saute pan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Remove stems from mushrooms and slice thinly. Add to olive oil, along with worchestershire sauce. Cook for approximately 5 minutes or until mushrooms become soft and start to release liquid. Put mushrooms in a bowl to let cool.
  2. When mushrooms are cool, add fat-free cottage cheese. Salt and pepper to taste. Add egg and mix thoroughly.
  3. In a large pot, melt butter over low heat. Add flour and cook, stirring constantly for 1 minute.
  4. Switch to a whisk. Whisk in milk slowly so it is incorporated. Add garlic. Increase heat to medium-low and cook for 5-10 minutes (the whisk is best at first and then you can switch back to a spoon) until the mixture becomes thick and coats the back of the spoon (you know the trick where you run your finger down the middle of the spoon and the sauce stays on either side? that’s what you’re looking for).
  5. To sauce, add nutmeg and 1/2 c parmesan cheese. Salt and pepper to taste.
  6. In another large pot, bring a large quantity of heavily salted (I’m talking a near handful here!) water to a boil. Cook lasagna noodles to 1 minute less than package directions (you want it just shy of al dente). Drain and add a little bit of olive oil so they don’t stick.
  7. Finally, lasagna prep time! Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
  8. Coat a lasagna pan (or 9×13 in baking dish) with cooking spray. Add a small amount of the cream sauce and spread a thin layer on the bottom of the pan. Place a layer of lasagna noodles. Add in 1/2 of the mushroom mixture, then 1/3 of the cream sauce.
  9. Repeat with another layer of the lasagna noodles, the rest of the mushroom mixture, and another 1/3 of the sauce.
  10. Top with a final layer of lasagna noodles and the rest of the cream sauce. Sprinkle on 1/4 c parmesan cheese.
  11. Bake for 45-50 minutes or until top is brown and bubbly. Remove from oven and let cool for 15 minutes before serving.

I know the recipe looks rather complicated, but it comes together fairly quickly! Saute the mushrooms first, then make the sauce and boil the noodles at the same time. My coworker, good friend, and fellow blogger Colleen can promise it’s delicious!

9FMKHTNGUPW2

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206 thoughts on ““Breakups” and Wild Mushroom Lasagna

  1. They say everything happens for a reason. You met him, so that you could make this delicious lasagna and share it with all if your grateful followers. I will be trying this dish soon! Thank you!!

  2. It probably meant more to him than just “casual dating”… At least, he didn’t text, email, phone or fax you to do the “break-up”. He was “respectful” enough to say it in person. I’ll give him credit for good manner…:-) But not letting him walk way with your delicious Lasagna was the right thing to do!!

    • I actually would have preferred him to have done it via text or phone, since he ended up attempting to refuse to leave and continued to attack me (it apparently was a bad thing that I had my M.D., made more than him, et cetera)!

  3. Haha! Hilarious! – I waisted a few year in my life living with a guy who “wasn’t really together with me”, than broke up with me (aka kicked me out of the house) and than, after I had moved out and decided to live my very own very happy life, kept whinging on how I “left him” whilst he only “broke up with me”….I’m English 2nd language and for about a month he tried to convince me that virtually all native speakers use “break up” for “take a break”.
    Funny times these were.
    “Is there any way I can take home a piece of lasagna?”
    Amazing.

  4. Wow. he makes all men look bad. If you are going to break up before dinner, well, you pick something up on the way home. If you break up after dinner, clearly you have you lack a bit of class, but you are getting one more (incredible looking) meal in–which is worthy of a modicum of respect. But ‘breaking up and then asking for a doggy bag? Yeesh. At least he did not break up and then ask for one more dance ‘in the sheets’ for old times sake!

  5. Good for you for ordering him out of your house! He should’ve waited until after the lasagna to break the news to you. At least you had a good meal and good friends to share it with the next day.

  6. Oh, boy, that reminds me of the time a guy who was interested in me (I had no idea) told me my new boyfriend was an asshole (he’s now my husband), then asked me to buy him a cup of coffee. Umm….no, thanks.

  7. aaaah, what a tool! That’s funny. Obviously a dumb request but I”m guessing it is a testament to how good your wild mushroom lasagna was! I need to catch the mushroom guy in my local market this weekend and try the recipe out!

  8. Ouch. I think he needs some basic etiquette/manner training. Glad to see you maintain your good sense of humor. But then, I can see why he couldn’t resist the heavenly aroma of your delish homecooking and asked for some takeout. lol

  9. I’m sorry to laugh over the break up but I must say… good riddance! Stupid request indeed. The lasagna just made me really hungry though, I need to get me some wild mushrooms!

  10. Yup, if he was smart…
    But if you were going to break things off anyway, at least he saved you from feeling like the bad guy. And gave you a good story to blog. The hazards of dating a blogger, or future blogger. :)

  11. That really is hilarious about the break up thing. Did you at least pretend to care? :) Also mushrooms are one of my favorite ingredients. I will have to put this recipe in my pocket for later. :)

  12. That’s a very good looking lasagna!

    Best to get rid of that guy, if he can’t figure out that he should get the meal before trying to break up then he has some serious issues with getting his priorities right.

    Thanks for the laugh :-D

  13. This made me laugh, some people are ridiculous.. but, I’m not going to lie, if i saw that delicious looking lasagna sitting there, i would probably ask you for a piece too even if we just “broke up!”

  14. Reblogged this on SparkaliciousWit and commented:
    Do not expect to take home “your supposed portion” of a meal after announcing you’d like a break. I love how Domestic Diva dives straight into the Lasagna Recipe. I would have stuck on the point on “HE’s breaking up with me?!?! We were even together!! Wait, there’s no WE! I’m gonna sit here and eat that delicious farmers market lasagna (one of my favorites by the way) while he can stare in growing hunger!! and He’s breaking up with me??? I (capital 80 pt font) was planning on breaking up with him! I was sparing his feelings!!

    Yeah, and it’s not even me. See how ruffled i get? I might be prettier ruffled if I had a beautiful shiny plumage with shimmering green and blue feathers — just like a peacock.

  15. From experience – whatever happens, happens for good to everyone in the plot… I would say he was nice enough to let you decide about the lasagna. Congratulations on your patience and tact. Love you! Jyo

  16. I admire your spirit (and your blog!)- I’m afraid I would likely have given him a piece of the lasagna and then kicked myself. Good for you! Love your blog and congratulations on being freshly pressed.
    And thank you for following me!

  17. My son Ezra will be eight years old next summer, but for a while he told me he did not like mushrooms. There was this certain kind of lasgana that you can buy in my grocers freezers that has mushrooms and a white sauce in it. If I did not tell him that there were mushrooms in it than it was one of the few things that he would est.

  18. Oh my gosh…I love you! Is that weird? Too soon? Should I take you out for dinner sometime? Sorry..what I’m trying to say is, this post is lovely, and horrific at the same time. You’re style of writing is so quirky and charming, I’m jealous! First of all, I’m vegetarian, and I feel like I miss out a lot on lasagna parties cause no one makes them veggie friendly! So this is refreshing! And also, I have totally been in that social situation..except I baked him cookies, and he never showed up for our date, and then he never ever came over again…soooo those cookies became “I hate my life cookies” meaning they were yummy but somehow void of love. Needless to say I gave them to a stranger.

    • Hahahahahaha so I at least haven’t had someone say “I love you” too soon yet. ;) But dinner sometime sounds great haha.

      I used to be a vegetarian, so I know how rough it is! I eat meat now but still eat vegetarian a few days a week.

      Oh no- he never showed up! His loss!

  19. YOU ARE AWESOME.
    & plus, doesn’t everyone know to wait until *after* food before a premature & unnecessary break up? But regardless of his ridiculousness, this looks delicious & will be eaten non-causally…with full force commitment! xo

  20. Thanks for the good read and light-hearted tale of your food creations and dating adventures!The hook to such an awkward and sometimes trivial break-up conversation, not to mention my dying love for lasagne, made me try the dish! It was great. I’ll be sure to make a note of the recipe for any future awkward relationship blunders or break-ups!

  21. What a jack ass…but at least he appreciated your culinary talents. Great blog and thanks for the follow. Can’t wait to see your holiday treat recipes…think chocolate…

  22. Well written and hilarious! He probably knew if he had The Talk after the meal, he wouldn’t go through with it! All that “way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” stuff. Thanks for stopping by my blog, by the way!

  23. Pingback: Eggplant Lasagna – Hold the Noodles « jittery cook

  24. I can’t believe he actually asked for some of your lasagna! Good on you on throwing him out! It looks delish by the way. I just need to figure out a way of hiding those mushrooms from my daughters! Thanks for visiting… it has led me to your wonderful blog!

    • You could use any sort of sauteed vegetable…I think eggplant works better with red sauce (if you look at my recipe tab I have another recipe for that), but you could always roast a bag of mixed veggies for a few minutes before using that or summer squash/zucchini/spinach works well, too.

  25. Hey there. I saw u liked my blog post ‘why shouldn’t one start a recipe blog” on ashthefibber.wordpress.com. I have discontinued this blog as I continue to have another one which I update often. So please follow me on ashtrash.wordpress.com where i have updated the same post… Thanks !

  26. OMG, OMG, OMG – that is just WRONG! But you are a gal after my own HEART – would have kicked him out too – and have! Mushrooms are my passion – thanks for including the recipe! I’m looking forward to reading more.

  27. Hi there!

    Just wanted to let you know that I featured this post on my blog for this week! I loved this post back when I read it and thought it would be a great addition. I’m featuring one post every day of the week (updated weekly), and yours is in the “Saturday’s Relationship Spiel” category. Feel free to check it out, it’s on the right hand side of my blog (you might have to scroll down a bit).

    Cheers!

    Marie
    Good Morning, Joe
    http://goodmorningjoe.wordpress.com/

  28. Only certain people deserve quality funghi and he’s not one of them. Now, if you want to follow a regular mushroom cliche’, he should be kept in the dark and fed s&*t.
    I’m married 15 years but long ago I remember getting the arrogant letter (back when people still penned) saying how I was very nice but he (the “he” at the time) didn’t want a commitment. You would think I’d been dressed as Betty Crocker and not pursuing a fabulous career. I was stunned. As a result, I’m more than impressed that you didn’t hit Boy-o over the head with the lasagna pan. But, on reflection, if it would have even ruffled the contents, he certainly wasn’t worth it.

  29. Pingback: Blog of the Year 2012 | Good Morning, Joe

  30. Yes… IF he was smart, he would have waited. Men can be so dumb :) I wouldn’t have shared, either! This looks delicious — I’ll have to put this on my list of things to (veganize and) try :D

  31. Pingback: How to Keep Spaghetti from Sticking in the Pot: Tips & Tricks

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