Revenge, Glitter, and Asparagus with Eggs

Revenge doesn’t always turn out the way you want it to.

Back in high school, once of my longtime guy friends (we’re talking friends since kindergarten sort of thing) decided that we were meant to be together and asked me to be his girlfriend (yup, we jumped straight to that without even a first date).

I turned him down because I didn’t want to ruin the friendship (and I wasn’t interested in him in that way). Therefore, he decided to “get revenge” by asking one of my “friends” to an upcoming high school dance.

To start, I actually wasn’t friends with this girl. We hung out in the same group of friends, but personally I found her rather annoying. Victory #1 for me, with more to follow.

They both bragged the entire month about how they were going to the dance together. And then, the fateful day arrived.

The girl had chosen a glittery silver floor-length dress (which would have blended into her skin- she had one of those practically transparent complexions- in pictures if the glitter hadn’t caught the flash). Then they chose to grind it out (and sloppily make out- it was the first of such incidents for both of them) on the dance floor before getting their official dance pictures taken.

A week later, I walked up to this girl wailing over her dance pictures with her new boyfriend. Without a word, she passed the pictures to me.

It’s really recommended that, if do you choose to wear a dress with glitter, that you get your pictures first. Otherwise, you’ll end up with their situation. Remember how I said the glitter caught the camera flash?Β  Well, the guy had a large area of glitter on his suit. It was unfortunately all centered around his crotch, since they had made the unwise decision to dance before taking their pictures.

Yup, his revenge plan TOTALLY worked.

Stay Classy Asparagus and Eggs

the easiest, fanciest-looking dinner you’ll make

Ingredients

  • 1/2 lb asparagus per person
  • 2-3 eggs per person
  • Olive oil spray (I use a spray bottle with olive oil in it)
  • Salt
  • Pepper

How-to

  1. Preheat oven to 475 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. Spray cookie sheet with olive oil.
  3. Break off woody ends of the asparagus and line up on the pan. Spray with some additional olive oil (you don’t need too much) and salt and pepper to taste.
  4. Roast for 6-8 minutes until bright green (I use 6 minutes for thin spears and 8 minutes for thicker spears).
  5. Remove tray from oven. Crack one egg in a separate bowl and carefully pour onto a section of asparagus spears. Repeat with additional eggs. Sprinkle with some additional pepper and salt.
  6. Return to oven and roast for an additional 8-10 minutes, or until the whites have set (the eggs will end up having the consistency of a poached egg).Β  If you like your egg yolks harder, cook for an additional 3-5 minutes.
  7. Use a spatula to remove from the pan. If desired, top with a drizzle of hollandaise sauce.
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71 thoughts on “Revenge, Glitter, and Asparagus with Eggs

  1. Hysterically funny… Revenge is never a good idea… if someone ever has truly bad intentions for you, just let karma sort it out… negative energy always finds a way to attach itself to the right place…

    And your dinner looks delicious… πŸ™‚

  2. This is Spring for me .. Asparagus – love, love .. love – but never had it with egg. Easy to try … with glitter or no glitter. And hollandaise sauce – is so good with Asparagus … the best asparagus I ever had was in Cannes at a restaurant by name “Felix” – along the La Croisette. It wasn’t the asparagus – it was the hollandaise sauce, 3 times they refilled the little copper pot we got it. Thanks for this one.

      1. It’s an fantastic restaurant … so if you end up in Cannes, go there. Cannes I don’t really like, but for a good lunch och great dinner – I will go back. *smile

  3. This looks like it would make a yummy brunch dish! I’ve done an asparagus eggs benedict (replacing the english muffin & Canadian bacon with asparagus) so I’ll echo the reader above about putting hollandaise sauce on it. And those dance pics sound priceless!

  4. Love this combo! (the eggs and asparagus, not glitter and crotch!) haha. I usually cut up the asparagus and throw it in a pan, cook it until almost done. Then toss in scrambled eggs. some S&P, cheese and voila!

    This is a much more beautiful presentation though, bravo! πŸ™‚

  5. What a great story! I like the idea of putting olive oil in a spray bottle. I’ll add that to my kitchen repertoire. I seriously don’t know how you keep up med school and a blog and cooking! My hat goes off to you!

  6. P.S. I read in one of your blogs, you’re always looking for food photo tips. As I’ve also read your CLEARLY a full time gal. Try and cook in the morning if possible one time and take photos of the food by a window! Window light is glorious!

    1. Unfortunately I’m normally working in the mornings! I’ve managed to take advantage of natural light once this week- you’ll have to let me know what you think once I post that recipe!

      1. I would be more than happy to! I’m just now getting into some food posting here and there. I’m more of a “dinner” person myself. So natural light isn’t always on my side. But when it’s there, it sure is heaven! Look forward to your recipe!

  7. What a great story – I can just picture the glitter gaff. And a terrific recipe – never would have thought of baking eggs. I like the idea of putting olive oil in a spray bottle.
    I seriously don’t know how you keep up med school and a blog and cooking. My hat goes off to you!

  8. Asparagus and eggs…. YUM!

    I’m currently flirting with the idea of revenge against my ex… hopefully if I go through with it, I’ll be more successful than your high school friend and his glitter monster! πŸ˜‰

  9. OK, I’m making this for breakfast soon! It’s only a few minutes actual prep work, and I can continue getting ready while everything in in the oven.

    Your story is hilarious. What do they call glitter? The herpes of craft supplies?

  10. Love the story! I don’t think I’d ever wear a glitter dress but hey that’s just me! πŸ™‚ Also this asparagus dinner is brilliant, I would have NEVER thought of this ever πŸ™‚ Awesome!

  11. I’ve done this with a fried egg and shaved Parmigiano-Reggiano over the top of everything. It’s really good. I’ve never baked an egg though. I will try that.
    A question on the whole friends-since-kindergarten-and-I-have-a-thing-for-you thing. Has it ever happened in the whole history of embarrassing silences that the girl is the one who wants go beyond friendship? It always seems to be the guy.

  12. It’s unfortunate that trying to preserve the friendship damaged it but at least it had a funny ending. LOL! Did your friendship recover the shiny crotch incident?

  13. Sounds wonderful…. I really love asparagus wrapped with prosciutto. Next time I feel like having breakfast for dinner, I’m going to try this egg trick! Thank you for the inspiration yet again!

    As for the glitter… wow… I’m still laughing!!

  14. If you can get that creative in the kitchen, I understand why your guy friend took it so hard when you pulled the “just friends” line. Did you at least offer him some Eggsparagus to lighten the blow?

  15. What a story! Just goes to prove my life maximum that glitter is good on kids’ artwork but not so much as a sartorial choice. Eggs and asparagus, on the other hand, are an excellent culinary choice. This dish looks delicious and easy, which is a hard-to-beat combination. We’re at the wrong end of the season for asparagus down here, but I will make a note for spring! Thanks for dropping by the blog!

  16. Hi there! I love reading your blog, so I nominated you to the Liebster Award, details are posted on my blog! Keep it up the good work. You make me laugh!

  17. That story is hysterical! I wore a glittery red dress to homecoming my senior year and my date and I were both covered head to toe in red glitter. We looked like a craft project gone terribly awry.

    And that recipe is the combination of two of my very favorite foods! Definitely trying that soon. I’ve always eaten my asparagus roasted with olive oil and salt (I call them healthy fries!) but delicious egg on top? I think yes!

  18. This looks amazing! High school revenge is the best kind of revenge. It is so random and immature. I dated a guy in high school for about 3 months before my friend decided she really liked him and broke us up (well, at the time I thought it was her but now I know we just weren’t good together). That was 12 years ago and they are still together. She apparently still talks a lot of smack about me, even though we haven’t seen each other for years and that part of my life was a blip on the radar. I think my revenge is that they both gained about 60 pounds each (I know that makes me a horrible person for saying that), live in his parent’s basement, and I just got engaged to the perfect guy for me!

  19. This looks delicious!!! And doesn’t look too complicated, which is great for a non-cook! Will definitely have to give it a try. Thanks for subscribing to my blog! You’re my first :))

  20. I have been having a love affair with asparagus this month. I’ve eaten it every day. This looks so good! And thank you so much for following my blog. Look forward to getting to know you πŸ™‚

  21. I made this tonite. I blanched them first instead of roasting. Far quicker to get them partially cooked. Only did 2 mins in salted water. Then placed in the oven. While the eggs cooked, I made the quickest hollandaise-bernaise that I have ever made. Perfect combo. Thanks!

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