Parents take a lot of pictures. However, they don’t always realize how embarrassing those can be.
As a kid, my father must have kept every photography store in business in Michigan and New Jersey. There are hundreds of hours of video tape of me crawling around naked in our living room. And I’m not kidding- HUNDREDS of hours. It might have been cute to watch 30 seconds of this footage, but not 300 hours.
There are also pictures. And boy, are there some bad ones.
My parents had taken lamaze classes with the neighbor family four houses down the street, and thus their son and I were destined to become friends (or at least for the first four years until they moved). We did everything together, which my father proudly documented.
Including taking baths.
The most infamous is simply known as the “bath picture,” even though there are two different ones. Both pictures feature my friend the neighbor boy, his 2-year-old sister, and me (we were both about 3 years old at the time). I at least had the sense of decency to try to cover up in one of the pictures with a washcloth, but I failed miserably in that quest.
My brothers first found the picture when I was 10 or 12 years old, and obviously loved teasing me about how naughty I was for being naked with a boy at the young age of 3. (They were the fortunate ones- my father had finally realized by the time they were born that it wasn’t quite necessary to document EVERYTHING). My mother and I kept trying to hide the pictures, but my brothers would always find them and show them to anyone who would look while snickering endlessly.
The true highlight of the story, though, is that I didn’t see my former neighbor for 18 years after they moved, and then we ended up attending the same medical school. And the first thing he said to me after not seeing each other for all that time?
“So, do your siblings tease you endlessly to this day about that bath picture, too?”
That’s right, after 18 years, the first thing he brought up was a naked picture of the two of us. Like I said, some things will always come back to haunt you.
All Grown Up Spicy Sloppy Joes
- 1 lb lean ground meat (you can substitute with 2 14-oz cans black beans for a vegetarian option)
- 1 large bell pepper, diced
- 1 large onion, diced
- 2 tbsp garlic powder
- 1 c salsa (I prefer hot, but use whatever you prefer)
- 2 tbsp worchestershire sauce
- 1 tsp chili powder
- 1/4 c tomato sauce
- Salt and pepper
- Hamburger buns (I prefer whole wheat)
- Cheese of your choice, if desired
- In a large skillet, saute together ground meat (I normally prefer lean ground turkey), onion, and bell pepper over medium heat. If making these vegetarian and using black beans instead, saute the beans (rinsed and drained) with the bell pepper and onion in 2 tbsp olive oil.
- When meat is brown and veggies are soft, remove from heat and drain off any grease. If using black beans, saute until veggies are soft and beans are warmed through.
- Return to medium heat and stir in garlic powder, salsa, worchestershire sauce, chili powder, and tomato sauce. If mixture is still too thick, add 1/4 cup water. Bring mixture to a boil, then reduce to a simmer for 5 minutes for the flavors to develop.
- Serve on your favorite buns (I prefer to serve these open face on toasted whole-wheat buns) and cheese if desired.