Voices and Pasta Salad

People  can be fairly attractive…until they start talking.

I had a first date with a guy that looked very good on paper and in pictures. (Yes people, I resorted to online dating. I work far too much to meet guys out in public.) He had a steady job, loved dogs, and worked out.

Then I met him in person.

I should probably take a moment to say that many people that I met while online dating were new to the city or worked too much to meet people in a bar, like me. (Plus meeting people in a bar is always a risk, since you never know how they’ll look the next morning…story about that to follow soon.)

So here I was, waiting for my date to show up. He was late…15 minutes late. On the other hand, I do live in a city, so you tend to be a bit more forgiving in case someone missed the bus or train or got stuck in traffic.  Granted, I had planned ahead of time not to be late, so I was 10 minutes early…which meant that I was waiting for almost 30 minutes. (Mom had a nice phone call there to pass the time.)

My date showed up, gave me a hug, and then started talking.

And that is when I was no longer attracted to him…

…he had the voice of a child. MY VOICE was deeper than his, if that tells you anything. My niece’s voice is actually probably deeper than his was, and my adorable munchkin is all of 20 months old.

For the next hour and a half, he went on and on in his really high pitched voice about how he needs to get married soon because his parents keep pressuring him, and it really needs to happen in the next year. He might have mentioned something else in this conversation, but that was the point he kept coming back to and making. Marriage in a year. Marriage in a year.

I really should have left when he didn’t show up in time.

Stuff It and Shut Up Pasta Salad

stuff your face and stop talking already


  • 1 lb tricolor rotini pasta
  • 1 bottle fat free italian dressing
  • 2-3 large tomatoes, diced (depends on how many tomatoes you like in your pasta salad)
  • 1 lb mushrooms, sliced thinly
  • 1 green pepper, diced
  • Salt
  • Pepper


  1. Cook pasta according to package directions in well-salted water. Drain and rinse once with cold water.
  2. Place pasta in a large bowl. Add half the container of italian dressing. Refridgerate overnight (this allows the warm pasta to absorb some of the dressing).
  3. Before serving, add the rest of the italian dressing, tomatoes, green peppers, and mushrooms. Salt and pepper to taste.

Feel free to add any other vegetables (olives, cucumbers, etc) that you may like! You can add the vegetables to the pasta before chilling, but you won’t have as much of a contrast in textures.

This also keeps well in the fridge in the off-chance you have leftovers!


58 thoughts on “Voices and Pasta Salad

      1. Hahahahaaaa! No, sadly, it doesn’t. He could probably make a living singing Chipmunk songs for the holidays, though.

  1. Haha Having also gone down the route of online dating I feel your pain! I was once left waiting because the guy was shopping! I should have known then it was a bad idea and left,..like you I waited … lets just say I didn’t see him again 😉

  2. After a long email correspondence, I finally met a guy who, on paper, looked great. There was something to him that didn’t come across in the text. Arrogance. I couldn’t wait to get away from him. Awkward. The choice was to look shallow and have the following lapse appear to be because of looks (the “just no chemistry” line), or cop to the intangible but palpably evident. I looked shallow.

  3. I’ve been of the dating circle for years, but I truly feel your pain. I remember those days. I have tons of those kinds of stories. I would look at the bright side and at least I got a free dinner or movie. But still…marriage on the first date? Can you say desperate? Wonder how he has his own separate entrance to his mom’s basement, or does he have to use the front door? LOL

    Your story reminded me of the waterpark scene in “Grown-Ups.” Hot guy until he opens his mouth.

  4. I think I live in a comic book world or something, because the whole time I’d be wondering if this was some sort of joke date 🙂 Online dating is awesome, though–makes for the BEST stories!

  5. voices can make a difference when it doesn’t match up to the person behind it. the recipe………looks so yummy! I am sure I will make this! thanks for sharing with me

  6. 1. I’ve been making a pasta salad like this for a while, usong black olives also.
    2. See, I’ve never had to do the on-line dating thing, but I’m pretty sure that I’d just get up and walk out had I been you. Nice job staying the course!

  7. Reminded me of my single days….. a very long time ago 😉
    Loved the story about helium guy, next time….try phone dates first ! I don’t think many people could have predicted helium guy though! How did you keep a straight face? I don’t think I could have hidden the shock horror on my face or the constant blinking that takes over when I try to hide the horror …lol
    Love your blog ….glad you visited my blog. Looking forward to some more stories…
    G x

  8. I was once rude enough to walk out on a date… he insisted on smoking even after I asked him to stop. This was years ago, before no smoking was common in theaters and restaurants, and he smoked his way through both the movie and half our meal. So, I excused myself to the bathroom… and left. Walked through the middle of San Francisco… in the dark… just missing each and every bus that came by… until I ended up walking the entire way home.

    The best part? We were coworkers. Awkward.

    LOVE the pasta salad recipe… you always have some nifty trick (like marinating the warm pasta in the dressing overnight) that I pick up from your posts. Thanks!


      1. Of course, marinating involves planning ahead… which isn’t really in my repertoire… but a girl can hope to change. :>

  9. Wow I remember that happening once in high school to me. There was a guy I liked and after months of fawning over him my friend and I went and talked to him…with in the first sentence I knew he was just so terribly stupid. He talked as though he was a huge 12 year old pot head. All illusions shattered there. So sorry for that. Though I guys an hour or so is worth losing now then more time down the road.

  10. Hilarious! I went on a date with a guy from online dating once. His profile said that he was 5’10”. It wasn’t something I paid much attention to until we met and he was 4″ shorter than me (I’m 5’4″). I was instantly turned off. Not because of the fact that he was short but because he thought he could get away with lying about it something so obvious. Weirdo.

  11. This reminds me of the “high talker” from an old Seinfeld episode. Sorry for your high-pitched, late date experience – but at least it makes for a great story & clever pasta recipe!

  12. I love meeting people via dating sites, it’s so easy! As long as you go in with no expectations…and I work in a bar…it’s not appealing, the thought of meeting people there. When you see what people actually look like at closing time. And you are stuck being stone cold sober.

  13. Ouch, I am sorry it went that way. I know what you mean about voices. My voice is pretty deep and strong, so a guy that talks like a girl…. nooooo….. not for me either.
    nice photo of the pasta.

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