There’s telling stories about your family, and then there’s just excessive complaining to a complete stranger.
I was on yet another date from online dating. To start, I should have know that this date would be awkward, purely based on text messages. Most normal people don’t start complaining to a complete stranger, especially by text. However, the rest of them had seemed funny, so I wrote it off as maybe him just having a bad day.
I really should have listened to my gut.
I arrived at the date location a few minutes early (I can’t help myself- my dad is ALWAYS late, so I always arrive early. Always.). My date of course was a few minutes late (but not as late as a previous encounter).
And that is when the complaining started.
Over the next hour and a half (I literally darted out of there as soon as humanly possible), he complained about
- that it was raining which of course made him late because someone MUST have stolen his umbrella and then put it back in the closet where he wouldn’t be able to find it
- that he was sore because he ran earlier to train for a marathon, and he HAD to run a marathon since his little brother did, and of course he had to run faster than him to prove that he was the better brother (phrase actually used)
- that the weather in Chicago was colder than the south
- that he was the middle child and therefore his family would never love him as much as his older or younger brother (another phrase actually used)
- that he liked the restaurant and came there often, but really he only liked one thing on the menu, and only if a particular cook had made it
He complained about more things, but to be totally honest I gave up really listening after the first 15 minutes and watched the baseball game above the bar instead, with occasionally throwing in comments I remember from my psych rotation (you know, when I wasn’t dealing with awkward psychiatrists one and two).
Date: Complain, complain, complain, complain.
Me: Sounds like that must be difficult for you.
Date: Yeah it definitely is because of complain complain complain…
Me: Have you tried talking to anyone about this?
Date: Well I saw a psychiatrist plenty of times but they just didn’t understand me because complain complain complain…
I’m almost convinced that someone else had written the amusing text messages or emails he had sent.
Low Maintenance Collard Greens
nothing to complain about here
- 1 ham bone (perfect use of the leftovers from your holiday ham)
- 2 bunches collard greens (I had approximately 2-3 lbs)
- 1 tsp chicken bouillon
- 3 c chicken broth
- 1/2 c apple cider vinegar
- 3/4 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp pepper
- Pepper jelly (optional)
- In a large crock pot, mix together chicken bouillon, chicken broth, vinegar, salt, and pepper. Add in ham bone.
- Wash collard greens very well in cold water. Remove tough stems. Cut into small pieces (or tear by hand, which I did).
- Place greens into broth in crock pot.
- Cook on low for 8-9 hours, stirring occasionally, until at desired doneness.
- Top with pepper jelly or pepper sauce, if desired.