Some behavior is hospital appropriate. Other behavior is not.
When you’re in the hospital, I expect you to be physically sick. You’re coughing. You’re vomiting, You’re in a ton of pain. You’re having high fevers. You’re having a heart attack. You’re undergoing surgery. The list goes on and on for what symptoms I’m expecting you to have when you present as a patient on a non-psychiatric floor.
And as I said, there are some things I don’t expect you to do.
We had a younger guy admitted to the ICU back when I was in medical school. Now, most ICUs (or intensive care units, for the non-medical peeps out there) are for the very sickest patients. They’re about the least private place in the hospital, with many of them (including the one at our hospital) have entirely glass walls, so that you can always see into the room.
Which didn’t stop this particular patient. When he first was admitted, he kept leering at most of the female doctors and nurses. We all just thought he was a bit of a creep, but we certainly didn’t expect what happened next.
We were about to start rounding in the morning when one of our residents ran into the workroom.
Resident: Oh my god! Ewww! Yuck!!! Why would you do that???
Rest of the Medical Staff: What? What happened?
Resident: Mister So-and-So was jacking off when I walked into the room! And he didn’t stop! I had to bring someone else in there to tell him it wasn’t appropriate! Thank god I couldn’t see anything!
Needless to say, rounds that morning included lecturing the patient on keeping it in pants (or in his case, under his hospital gown).
Party Appropriate Mini Pork Tacos
- 1 lb pork tenderloin
- 1 c black bean and corn salsa
- 1 tbsp garlic, minced
- 1 jalapeno, sliced into small pieces
- 1 onion, diced into small pieces
- 24 wonton wrappers (square and circular both work)
- 1 c shredded 2% mexican cheese blend
- Optional toppings: sour cream, black olives, lettuce, diced tomatoes
- In a slow cooker, mix together salsa, garlic, jalapeno, and onion. Add in pork.
- Cover and cook on high for 3 hours or on low for 6 hours. Shred pork and add back to salsa mixture.
- Preheat oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.
- Place wonton wrappers into a mini muffin tin. (If you don’t want to use the pork, start at this step with 1 lb cooked meat, warmed, or 1 can black beans, also heated.)
- Evenly divide meat between the wonton wrappers.
- Evenly divide cheese between wonton wrappers.
- Bake for 6-8 minutes or until cheese is melted and wonton wrappers are beginning to brown.
- Remove from mini muffin tin and serve. Allow guests to put on their own toppings!
Perfect for your Superbowl party!
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